How Sexually Adventurous Are You? Do swing rafters when you have sex? Do you want to?
Being sexually adventurous means something different for everyone. Your definition of “sexually adventurous” may depend on your upbringing, ethnicity, culture, sexual experience to date, sexual opportunities, willingness to explore, and so much more.
You might think a blindfold and feather is sexually adventurous, or you might consider that vanilla. Kink and BDSM are part of being adventurous with sex, but not everything. There is such a broad spectrum within kink that there is something for everyone.
The most important things about being sexually adventurous is finding your groove, respecting your own limits and boundaries but also exploring beyond at times. Any adventure should be fun, and when it involves sex it’s no different.
10 Ways to Be More Sexually Adventurous
1. Explore Your Fantasies
There are plenty of people who live out their lives without exploring their fantasies or fetishes. Don’t be one of them. Take the plunge, share your fantasy—the worst that can happen is your partner says no. But you won’t know until you do! Word of advice: Let the baby kinks out the bag first.
2. Satisfy Her Kinks
The woman you are with has fantasies and kinks you don’t know about—we all do! Ask politely, observe what turns her on and ask follow-up questions. But don’t ask if you’re unwilling to indulge her, at least in part.
3. Practice Role Reversal
If you’re the dom in the bedroom or more dominant than she is, play the submissive for a change of pace. Let her take charge and boss you around just for fun. A lot can be learned from changing roles, and perspectives. Who knows, you may be buying her a strap-on in the future!
4. Try Bondage
Bondage is one of the easiest ways to become more sexually adventurous and explore BDSM further. If you have the fundamental trust necessary to engage in bondage, start slow and talk through it. It’s a basic power exchange that can lead to all kinds of kinky fun.
5. Role Play
You don’t have to be a thespian to act out your fantasies with an adventurous lover. Some popular sexual role plays that lead to naughty fun are doctor-patient, teacher-student, captor-prisoner, and stepdad-babysitter. Put your twist on a favorite porn scene.
6. Open Your Relationship
This requires some sit-down talks and negotiations, but if you can hammer out the details and you have a solid relationship, it’s worth a try.
It may be that only one of you wants to play outside the primary relationship, or you may want to invite a third in for a one-off threesome or a regular arrangement. Find out what works for both of you, if it works.
7. Watch Porn Together
Sexual adventure is often inspired by what we see in porn. We don’t always want to re-enact porn scene for scene, as it’s not to be compared to real-life sex, but it’s a ways to show our partners what we’re into in not so many words.
8. Try Swinging
Swingers are back, baby! If you know where to look, you can join the swinging craze or just dip your toe in the fun for a single adventure.
Swinging is another way to enjoy the benefits of an open relationship—exploring other sides of your sexuality with new lovers, but always having your primary partner to support you.
9. Have Sex in Public
Not everyone wants to have sex in the middle of a public park, and that’s not really the best place anyway. But there are lots of hotspots for sexy public adventures like bar bathrooms, condo rooftops, farmer’s fields, and hidden beaches. If you love the thrill of being caught, the riskier the spot you will choose.
10. Visit a Sex Club or Attend a Sex Party
The sex club is not everyone’s cup of tea, but we can all agree it would mean being more sexually adventurous! And you don’t have to have sex there (but you could!) to explore what it’s all about. Opening our eyes to other sexual lifestyles and relationships can kickstart any relationship.
How to Get Your Partner to Be More Sexually Adventurous
Make sex fun again.
Are you having fun when you have sex with your partner? If sex feels like a routine or a chore to get out of the way, you’re not doing it right.
Think back to when it was fun, at the beginning of your relationship likely, and try to inject some of that initial excitement. Shop online for sex toys, promise to indulge one fantasy of each other’s, prioritize sex.
Read: How to Make Time for Sex
Share your fantasies first.
Not everyone is comfortable talking about sex, let alone our deepest sexual fantasies, even with a long-term partner. Many of us our taught to keep those things to ourselves, forever!
Take a leap of faith and reveal something you fantasize about and are ready to try. Your partner may be willing to share if you open the conversation.
Make them feel desirable.
Do you think your partner feels sexy and desirable? It’s hard to be sexually adventurous when you’re feeling ick about your looks or body or abilities.
Take stock of your partner’s confidence and self-worth. If it’s not high, help them build that back up first, so they can feel their sexy selves again. Dancing around in garters or wielding a whip takes a little something something!
When Your Partner is More Sexually Adventurous than You
Open your mind and body.
So your partner has shared her fantasy to be put over your knee and spanked, but that just doesn’t seem loving to you. Or she wants to take you from behind, wearing her new surprise strap-on, but you can’t imagine anything going IN your butt.
Perfect sexual compatibility is rare, but compatibility also includes a willingness and openness to a lover’s sexual desires.
Let your lover lead and test your limits.
You don’t have to go all the way, right away. A lot of sexually adventurous practices, especially BDSM, involve some research and exploration before any action occurs.
If your partner is experienced in something already, let them lead the way, teach you how to play safe and responsibly while you do a little research on the side. They won’t expect you to dive in, but dip your toe and test the waters.
Explore new relationship dynamics.
Who says you have to be sexually adventurous together? If you are already polyamorous, there are many ways to explore kinks and fetishes separately. If you are monogamous and your partner is much more interested in certain sexual adventures, think about them playing outside the relationship.
There are many kinds of non-monogamous relationships to accommodate different sexual interests. You may be cool with her acting out her fantasies if you can watch or hear the details later, or if you help choose her lover on the side. Maybe she hires a professional who will spank her silly for “being a bad girl.”
Non-monogamous arrangements happen all the time in loving long-term relationships because the trust and respect for each other is present.
Are you looking for more sexual adventure in your relationship? How will you add it?