You know you need sex, even with your busy life. When it seems impossible, how do you make time for sex?
Whether you’re someone who feels like time has slowed down because of the pandemic, or that you can’t keep up, it can be hard to carve out time to connect sexually with your partner. There are often many more pressing issues and stressors that take precedence. But a healthy sex life is important too!
There are numerous benefits that come from intimacy, affection, and sexual connection. And it doesn’t always matter if it’s with your partner of thirty years, a new-found relationship, a friend with benefits, or a one night stand. All kinds of sexual connection can improve how we feel and how we cope with stress.
Do you feel too busy to have sex? Too tired? Too emotionally drained? Let’s look at how we can make more time for sex with your partner.
4 Ways to Make More Time for Sex
1. Prioritize Sex
This is the first step. When we work through our daily to-do lists, the things that are “for us” often fall to the bottom of the page, and then right off when the day ends if we’re too tired. Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you are selfish or that other things don’t matter—it acknowledges that taking care of you is part of taking care of others and what needs doing in our individual lives. It’s a way to fill up your gas tank!
It may sound silly to pencil in sex on your calendar but try it. Many couples do this to make time for sex, and avoid weeks or months going by before the deficit puts a strain on the relationship.
2. Remember, Sex Is Sex
Sex with your partner, lover, girlfriend isn’t just about penis-in-vagina or penetrative sex. Frankly, I think PIV has always been overrated. As someone who loves giving and receiving oral sex, I see oral as something you can fit into a busy day and have a lot more fun with.
Think about a quickie while one or both of you is on a break for work. Go down on her in the morning or in the shower. Exchange oral while watching a movie late at night. Surprise her with a vibrating dildo to play with alone or together. Be creative, and don’t think your sex has to follow tradition.
3. Change the Scene
When we are surrounded by what needs doing in our home environment, it is sometimes hard to relax and enjoy each other sexually. It’s not always easy to get naked and sexy when we see piles of laundry in the corner of the room, a stack of papers we need to grade, or hundreds of emails in our inbox.
Of course a week-long vacation would be awesome, but it’s not always possible to pick up and leave. And a weekend getaway isn’t always doable either. If you can swing it, book a hotel room or AirBnB for a one-night sexcapade. It will feel like you’re playing hooky which will build anticipation, especially if you book it a week or two in advance— something to look forward to!
4. Change the Dynamic
If you are stuck in a sexual rut with your partner, making time for sex isn’t going to have as much meaning as making time for a different kind of sex. Share a fantasy to pique your partner’s interest. Maybe you want to have her tie you up, or role play a scene that incorporates your fetish. Ask her if she’d like to play dominant if she’s usually submissive. Or surprise her with a new sex toy or gear that you can explore together.
Shiny and new works sometimes when it comes to making more time for sex.
How do you make time for sex? Please share your tips!