What turns on a woman?
Every woman will have specific sexual turn-ons that are unique to her as an individual. But there are some sexual turns ons for women that are almost universal in their appeal.
10 Biggest Turn-Ons for Women
1. Your Confidence
Women are sexually turned on by confident men who know what they’re doing in bed. It’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, so be sure to stand tall without being arrogant or overbearing.
If you don’t know what you are doing or you are new to a sexual act, practice, or position, be honest and don’t plow ahead with something that could ruin the night if it goes off the rails.
Read: Dating Confidence vs. Arrogance
2. A Playful Attitude
The right attitude—positive, energetic, and easy going—are sexual turn-ons. Sex that takes itself too serious is bound to fall flat. When you fall out of a position or have a pussy fart in your face, take it in stride.
Read: 8 Ideas for More Playful Foreplay
3. Sexual Adventure
A sense of adventure in and out of the bedroom is also a turn-on for women. You can’t just stay in the missionary sex position and thrust every night, and what turned your last lover on isn’t necessarily going to work with your current hookup.
Women want lovers who are imaginative and creative, who bring something new to the table when it comes to sex. Surprise her, and she’ll continue to be interested because she won’t always know what’s next.
Read: How to Make Her Wet and Ready for Sex
4. Oral Skills
You don’t have to have a pussy worship fetish, but having cunnilingus prowess is a huge turn on. Women meet a lot of men who either don’t go down unless nudged (don’t be that guy!) or someone who goes down for a requisite two minutes.
Learn to love the pussy. When you can make a woman orgasm through oral alone, you’ll know your in the upper ranks. And don’t just do it as a reciprocal act. Make that first move. Lap it up. Swirl around. Knowing her pussy and its turn ons is the turn-on!
Read: How to Give Her Better Oral Sex
5. Dominance
Taking charge in the bedroom isn’t necessarily a BDSM thing. Think of a dominant presence as an extension of the confidence that sexually turns women on.
You may be directing the scene, picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom, or sitting her on the counter to fuck. You might be holding her against the wall and lifting up her skirt.
With consent, this kind of “manhandling” is so hot.
Read: How to Be Dominant in the Bedroom
6. Role Flexibility
We don’t all like a man to be dominant. There are plenty of femdoms out there who want a proper sub. I’m a natural sub, but I love nothing more than to wield the whip or tie my man down from time to time.
Let her exercise her dominance when she feels it, and see how being a sub feels. It will only make you a better dominant if that’s the role you usually take on.
Switching roles is a sexual turn-on for women, and so is role playing. Create a scenario that has you both acting out your kinky fantasies.
Read: 7 Woman on Top Sex Positions & Why She Rides
7. Forceful yet Tender Approach
Yes, women want that take-charge confident lover, but we also want tenderness in the mix. Nothing can make a woman quiver more than a soft kiss on the neck, a gentle stroke down her back, or your hand through her hair.
Let these moves speak for themselves, rather than adding cheesy dialog to the mix.
This approach is about respecting women, but not asking for permission every time you touch her.
8. Anticipation
An important sexual turn on for women is arousal, and this can be achieved long before the actual sex.
You can use sexting to let her know what you want to do to her when you get home from work. You can drink wine and play a game of strip poker. Or you can play truth or dare with a sexual twist.
Read: Sexting Tips for Men
The excitement of knowing sex is coming is a huge turn on for women, along with knowing how turned on our lover is by the prospect.
9. Openness to Her Kinks
A woman isn’t usually going to share her kinks and fantasies on a first date, but when she does, be open and willing to go there. We all have hard limits, but unless it’s something dangerous or a total turn off, go for it.
Have sex in the park, spank her while she’s dressed up as a secretary, pretend to drink milk from her breasts. A woman is going to be super turned on when you jump right into her fantasy world instead of saying you’ll think about it.
Read: Kink for Beginners: How to Get Started
10. Admiration
Compliments can be too sentimental or over the top, but women are sexually turned on when they know that their lover is attracted to their body and looks.
Women want to know that you find them sexually attractive and that they’re not just a body to satisfy your needs, even if it’s casual sex.
Read: The Truth about Women and Casual Sex
A woman who feels desired wants to have sex because it turns her on. It’s the small gestures that can make her feel wanted and translate to her making the first move. It can’t just be about sex, but needs to be about sex WITH HER.
11. Gratitude
You don’t need to say “thank you for the sex” after a hookup, but women want to feel appreciated and that you enjoyed the sex, whether it was a fast and furious quickie or an hours-long tantric exploration.
Leave us wanting more with what you’ve shown us thus far. You don’t have to throw everything but the kitchen sink at the first hookup if you know there’s going to be more time together moving forward.
Read: How to Get Laid Tonight
Ladies, what did I miss? Guys, what turns a woman on in your experience?
Tell us what you think