Jeremy says he’s enjoying the single life, using online dating for casual hookups since his divorce. He’s met quite a few cuties for one-night stands, and a few that he hooks up with on an occasional, no-strings basis.
He confided that he’s worried some women might be faking orgasm: “I was married for so long that this wasn’t something I ever dealt with. I knew how to make my wife cum. Being with different women, they’re all different. I don’t want to disappoint, but I don’t think I’m satisfying my dates.”
Here’s my two cents: sometimes we come, sometimes we don’t, and sometimes we fake it. And all those things are okay. Other women might have their own things to say on the subject, but here’s my perspective.
Q: If she doesn’t come during a hookup, I’m not a good lover.
False. I’ve never slept with Jeremy, but I would confidently bet a million he’s good in bed. He obviously took care of his wife. And he’s asking, which means he’s concerned about his lovers’ pleasure.
Here’s something to think about—just like you, I also can come from my own hand all the time. Does that mean flying solo is better than an exciting casual encounter? Umm, no.
Q: She’s just not that into me.
False. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen. For MANY women, it will NEVER happen during a hookup, because it only happens in familiar settings, after being together a lot.
Practice makes perfect. This is just how her body is wired.
Q: Faking it means she’s not enjoying it.
False. Orgasm is a sure sign of pleasure. But it’s not the ONLY pleasure. Personally, I love the excitement of a new body, and I love YOUR excitement. I might come during a hookup, I might not. I might fake it to signal to you that I’m having a great time, or that I’m “done.”
Q: She’s not satisfied unless she comes.
False. If she fakes it, take the signal at face value. It can be way too much pressure on us to come. My body is not a machine.
Trust me to cater to my own satisfaction in casual relationships. As long as you have shown yourself to be willing and attentive, I can’t expect you to know my body better than I know it when I’ve only been naked with you for one hour of my life.
Q: Faking it means you’re doing it wrong.
False. It’s a cruel joke of nature that women really are all different.
As Jeremy found out, knowing just what to do with one woman didn’t guarantee things with the next.
Q: Women aren’t really into casual sex.
False. Sometimes we are, sometimes we aren’t. Chances are, if you met her on a hookup dating site, she’s into it.
Q: If she faked it once, it means she’s always faking it.
False. Sometimes we just don’t orgasm. Some of us never climax without taking matters into our own hands.
Lighten up and have fun. Be open and take things as they come… or don’t!