I’ve been the recipient of some pretty awful sexts in my day, the likes of which (if I’m to be perfectly honest) made my vagina want to slam shut and hermetically seal itself in an act of sheer defiance. Surprisingly, the guy who sent them knew exactly what to do with me in the sack. I suspect he just got lost in the poetry of his dirty talk and didn’t really consider how his words might be received. Sexting is not that different from foreplay in that the whole point of it is to seduce your partner. Keep the following guidelines in mind and you should be well on your way to success.
Let Her Set the Tone
Just remember, you want to send texts that you know will make your partner hot for you. If you’ve only started to date and are using sexting as a way of getting to know one another, be somewhat conservative with your messages. Be classy and start out slowly, giving her a chance to set the tone. In essence, you want to feel things out a bit before going full throttle. If this is your first sexting exchange, you want to give her an indication of your desires but not come on too strong.
Pay Attention to Her Responses
If your partner makes a point of responding to your sexting efforts, you need to take a few deep breaths and actually read what she’s sent. Don’t just plow ahead in a burst of lust-powered fervour. You might have the hottest, most provocative texts all prepared in your mind to send, but just remember that you’re having a conversation. If her response changes the trajectory of things or she requests a particular response from you, be flexible and show her that you’re paying attention, otherwise it’s going to seem to her that you’re simply masturbating via text message.
Don’t Rush It
Pacing is really important when it comes to sexting. You want to try to build things up as naturally as you can, as if you’re actually engaged in the things you’re putting out there. Don’t randomly jump around from one thing to the next or rush through something in a few seconds. Give her a chance to really savour your words and come back with something that’s equally hot. Build the suspense a bit and make her want more by taking your time. Sexting is all about imagination, which flourishes with lots of detail and patience. Believe me, it’s worth the effort.
Choose your Timing
If you know your partner is busy at work or otherwise occupied with things that require her full attention, don’t expect her to join you in a super hot sexting marathon. If she’s visiting a sick relative in the hospital, or riding the vomitron after a night of drinking, or even just in a really shitty mood, sexts can come across as yet another thing she has to take care of. While it’s always a good idea to remind your partner that you want her, if your sexting attempts are met with a non-sexy response, don’t push it.