It’s 2020, but there are still times I’m surprised by how old fashioned people can be! Since I’m “out” about being polyamorous and joyfully promiscuous, people often confide, confess, or ask me sex questions.
I seldom raise my eyebrows—you could say I’ve seen and heard it all. But once in a while, something someone says takes me off guard.
This time, it was a co-worker. He confessed that he doesn’t have time for a committed relationship, being in school and working full time while co-parenting twins. He had enjoyed some exciting casual encounters, but stopped after women in his family chastised him for “being a player.”
He didn’t want to “use” women, he said, even though he had sexual and companionship needs. He said he understood guys want hookups, but there was nothing in it for the women, so he didn’t feel right about pursuing sex without strings.
Are all those women seeking sex incapable of choosing the kind they want? Am I not able to give my consent and run my life by my own rules? Am I not capable of deciding what it is I need and how to get it? I set the record straight with my friend.
Benefits of Casual Sex for Women
Women can enjoy sex on their own terms.
Women fought for the freedom to enjoy sex for centuries. We were sexually constrained and restrained for too long, so now it’s time we enjoy the kind of sexual lifestyle that fits for us.
Women are not stuck with someone incompatible, or worse.
One benefit of casual sex for women is that they get to decide who to settle down with, if ever.
In the past, if I let my hormones take me too far, I ended up stuck with that man. Society said that I had to marry the one I fooled around with, or that I was “fast.”
Now I choose who I sleep with, and who I stay with.
Women can experiment and explore.
Casual sex allows me to explore my sexuality fully. I can hook up with people interested in different kink, or I can make love to other women. In times of old, the only criteria a woman had when it came to a partner was “will he be a good father and provider?” Now I can celebrate pleasure the way men always have.
Women can shop around.
On that same note, women can take their time to look for someone to settle down with, if they want, on different terms from “good-parent material.” I want to ensure that my long-term partner is SEXUALLY compatible with me and my needs.
Women can focus on education, work, travel, or anything else they want.
Like my co-worker, a woman busy with school or caring for her elderly parents might not have time for a committed relationship. Casual encounters allow her to concentrate on other demanding aspects of life. She can have her sexual needs met without sacrificing her plans to see the world, finish her degree, or pursue her passions.
This is a very new privilege in history, and we like it.
Let us know what YOU think. How do casual encounters benefit you?