The internet is full of advice on how to score with the ladies. While some of what you’ll read is extremely useful and on point (queue self-promotional banner here) there is an exponentially greater number of crap articles written by asshole misogynists who claim to hold the keys to Pussy Kingdom.
You’ll recognize these articles by key words such as negging or pick up artistry. You might be seduced by their seemingly easy step-by-step approach and the promise of results, but beware; many of the suggestions offered will leave you looking and acting like a first class douche.
Here’s a little checklist to help you determine if your moves are those of a sexy stud, or right out of the pages of the growing sleazy Pick-up Movement.
Are You Confident or Arrogant?
Confidence is quiet self-assurance. Unlike arrogance, which is expressed through bragging, manipulating, or putting others down, confidence is displayed as emotional security and resilience.
Confident guys don’t rely on a woman’s attention to define their sexiness or boost their ego. If their advances go unanswered, that’s okay. They know the right woman will come along. Confidence is sexy. Arrogance isn’t.
Are You Saying What You Really Mean?
Many of the so called pick-up sites urge you to “trick” women into sleeping with you. They recommend throwing women off kilter by insulting them, or saying things they don’t expect in the moment.
All of that is super sleazy. Just say what you mean! Act like a decent human being, and don’t try to bamboozle someone into sleeping with you. You’re better than that.
Are You Being Respectful?
This is basically an extension of my last point. How much do you respect the woman you’re hoping to seduce? If you don’t know how to answer that, or you’re answer is anything less than a lot, you shouldn’t be trying to sleep with her. While it’s true that lots of women have low self-esteem and will tolerate being treated like shit, you shouldn’t prey on that.
Has Anyone ever Called You a Sleaze?
Other people’s impressions of you can be educational. Have you ever heard ladies accuse you of being a sleaze bag, skeaze or something of the like? If so, they’re probably right.
If you’ve had drinks tossed in your face, or if you’ve ever found yourself listed on “Don’t Date Him, Girl.com,” you might want to rethink your approach and dial back on the sleaziness.
What do You Think?
Even more valuable than the impressions of others is your own inner voice. It will tell you clearer than anything if you’re sleazy or sexy. How do you feel at the end of the day?
When you hook up with the women you seduced, do you feel good about it? Is it a positive experience for the both of you? If you’re sexy and acting above board, it should be.