Is the Money Shot Degrading to Women?

In relationships, in pornography, and in casual hookups, there’s one sex act that is so prized it’s known as the “money shot.”

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Every man wants to see his essence dripping down his lover’s cheek. But most experts say this act is degrading to women. 

Money Shot FAQ

Girls in porn are all like “come on my face, I love it,” so why have I never met a chick who will let me, never mind beg for it?

Never mistake porn for real life. Porn is the enactment of popular sex fantasies, often male, and doesn’t reflect reality. Some women fantasize about having you blow your load all over her eyes, cheeks, and open mouth. But most of us don’t.

How can I convince her to let me cum on her face?

You can pay someone!

You can look for that rare girl who craves it, and hook up with her. You can look for someone who will indulge your desire from time to time because she’s willing to please you. Or you can switch your online dating profile from casual hookups to a site looking for true love—women are, on average, far more into your jizz if they’re in a trusted and secure relationship.

A lot of sexperts say the money shot is aabout degrading the woman. I don’t want to degrade anyone, so is it wrong to get turned on by this fantasy?

I am not trying to always be contrarian in these matters, but I get really angry at stuff like this. I do not find man’s orgasm or ejaculation degrading, and don’t see how it’s degrading just because it lands on my face.

I personally think it’s degrading against men to harbor the ideas that his ejaculate is dirty or that his sexuality is automatically toxic. The idea that a man’s cock—and his cum—are disgusting is totally sexist.

If it’s not about humiliation, why does the money shot turn men on, since it’s nowhere near the evolutionary target of the womb?

I have my own theories: it seems obvious to me that it’s simply about virility. Watching a big projectile of cum unload reminds you that everything is working as it should. Very simple.

Psychology Today weighed in on the money shot, taking the old “degradation” theories down a peg. Dr. Ogi Ogas says the thrill is in an “erotic illusion”—the cock and its results, close-up, right at the site of the reading of female emotions. The man is turned on because her responses—joy, acceptance, amusement, astonishment, wonder, surprise—are a direct connect.

The fact that gay porn and desire is full of money shots also argues against the idea that the thrill is about humiliating women, and for me affirms Ogas’ conclusions.

How can I bring it up during my next hookup? How can I get her to let me come on her face?

Sometimes things just come up. Don’t surprise her if it’s not obviously going that way—that’s not cool. But if you’re super comfortable and the hook up is really hot, when you’re finished giving her a second orgasm, let her know you’d love to see yourself all over her face.

Depending on the chemistry, it might be a better bet to bring it up during sexting with someone you hook up with often, not on the first date. Sexting with someone you’ve already been with is a great way to test the waters for what’s permissible between you, when it comes to your unique turn ons.

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