Female Orgasm: Mysterious and Amazing
Are you curious to know more about female orgasm? I don’t blame you! In my opinion, every one of us should become an expert on this topic.
My partner recently hooked me up with a really great documentary called The Female Orgasm Explained. It features seven women of various ages, all talking about their desires and experiences of that transcendent event known as the female orgasm. It goes into lots of detail about the underlying emotional and physiological processes involved and I have to say it taught me a few things!
Below are some of the more fascinating things I learned about women’s orgasms.
6 Interesting Facts about Female Orgasms
1. There is no real physiological distinction between vaginal and clitoral orgasm.
For a long time researchers thought that women achieved orgasm either as a result of clitoral simulation or by vaginal penetration. They assumed that different anatomical processes were responsible for each, but in fact this is not the case. Both lead to pleasure by causing muscle contractions in the vaginal and uterine walls.
Why does it matter? Mostly it’s an issue of perspective.
As a woman I’ve been asked if I’m a clit or vag fan when it comes to receiving pleasure and I feel this question has defined the way in which I’ve approached sex in general. I used to think that a vaginal orgasm was a rare gift and that only some women (not me) were even capable of having one.
In reality it just takes the practice of being relaxed and completely open to it. Sometimes I’ve felt pressured by partners to try to cum vaginally, as if my ability to do so is an indication of their sexual skill. (Please note that such an approach does not lead to feeling open and relaxed and is therefore counter productive.)
Read: What If She Doesn’t Have an Orgasm?
2. The clitoris is much larger than it seems.
Rather than the tiny “button” it appears to be, the clit is actually a bigger structure whose roots extend about 10cm on either side of the labia.
Although the exposed area we all know and love delivers the greatest amount of pleasure, paying some attention to those areas adjacent to it can really intensify your partner’s experience.
Try caressing your partner’s inner thighs as you use your tongue to stimulate her clit, or use your mouth and hands in creative ways to make that entire area a focal point. Of course every woman will have different preferences and levels of sensitivity, so it’s best to ask for your partner’s guidance.
Read: 5 Oral Sex Tips: Boost Your Cunnilingus Game
3. Fantasy plays a substantial role in women’s arousal.
Being in the right frame of mind can go a long way towards making a woman cum.
I know from my own experience that I’ve been brought close to orgasm just by thinking of what I want my partner to do to me. On the flip side, I’ve been torn away from the sweet warmth of my sexy thoughts by reminders of my stressful daily life, sometimes as a result of boredom or from not feeling very connected to my partner.
I think the key to a great orgasm for many women is to feel completely immersed in the moment and to feel that her partner is paying attention and not just going through the motions. Help her to maintain her erotic mindset by taking your time and savoring every moment of pleasure the two of you create together.
4. The G-spot is not the only vaginal erogenous zone.
That’s right! It turns out there are actually two more… TWO!
I myself had no idea, although it might explain why sometimes if the conditions are just right (angle and thrust-wise) it can feel as if my whole body is being shot full of the most intensely pleasurable electrical charge, but I digress.
Read: G-Spot Tips For Better Orgasms
As you may or may not know, the g-spot is located about a centimeter or so inside the vaginal opening, on the upper portion of the vaginal wall. It feels a bit granular or sponge-like in comparison to the surrounding tissue and can be found by inserting your finger and then making an upward hook motion. The other two erogenous zones are found much deeper in the vagina, one on the upper wall, close to the cervix, the other on the back wall, neighboring the anus.
These areas are reportedly similar to the g-spot in that they are more sensitive than other parts of the vagina and can really enhance a woman’s orgasm if stimulated in just the right way. The best way to determine what works for your partner is to start exploring with specific angles and positions and asking her to set the pace and be in control of your penetration.
Read: Best Sex Positions for Deep Penetration
5. Some women can achieve orgasm via anal sex.
This is primarily due to the location of that erogenous zone I just mentioned, the one that is right next door to the anus. The woman who spoke about this in the film mentioned that it was a very different kind of release… intense but short lived.
Keep in mind that everyone’s experience is going to differ and that anal sex is not for everybody. A big part of achieving orgasm for most women is feeling relaxed and open to it. If you want to explore analingus and anal sex, it’s a good idea to talk about it first and to do your research with regards to technique and safety.
Part of what made it so sexy for the woman in the documentary is that she felt that it was dirty or taboo. This relates back to the role of fantasy I mentioned, but again, anything new you try with your partner should be discussed first.
Read: How to Make Anal Sex Great for Her
6. There are three noticeable stages to the female orgasm.
This is a good thing to know the stages of arousal because it can help you to recognize where your partner is at on the road to orgasm and maybe even help you tailor your approach.
The first stage is excitement which is characterized by a moistening and swelling of the labia. This basically just means that your partner is turned on. At this point you might want to experiment with different speeds and pressures, changing things up based on her reactions or feedback. If you already know your partner really well, you probably know what does it for her, so just do whatever that is.
The second stage is plateau. You can tell your partner has reached this stage because her labia will change colour, becoming a darker red and her clit will likely swell and grow hard. This means she’s close to orgasm. At this point in time you’ll want to intensify what ever it is you’re doing just a little bit.
If you’re lucky it will be enough to push her over the edge to orgasm and then on to the final stage, which is resolution. And, if she’s really aroused, maybe to another orgasm… because women’s bodies are amazing!
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