Wondering how to make a woman horny? Discover what turns her on and gets her wet.
When it comes to hooking up, you know what you’re doing. Or do you?
Maybe you’re a little rusty after a dry spell, or used to one woman’s ways and now you’re out there. Or maybe you just want to make sure you’re at the top of your game. We could all use a little refresher on turning a woman on.
I mention quite often in my articles how women’s arousal capacities are mysterious.
You might assume that there’s an on/off switch: horny and not horny. Guys are kind of like this. One minute you’re mowing the lawn, the next you’re pushing the mower with your erection. One minute you’re reading the reports for the morning meeting, the next you’re wondering if there’s time to rub one out in the bathroom cubicle.
It’s probably more realistic to say guys have a few switches, like on, off, a bit horny, horny, and very horny.
But women are different. We can always go higher and hornier.
Read: 4 Stages of Sexual Arousal
We can have sex even if we’re not crazy in the mood. We can have sex without having an orgasm, and enjoy it without needing one in some circumstances. But women can get insanely horny.
No matter how high you’ve taken her, she can go higher. Often, we don’t even know how high we can go. Even experienced women can be surprised, by a new lover, a new activity, a new discovery.
Read: Women with High Sex Drives
Because you want as much sex as you can get, making a woman horny is a top priority. Because the more aroused she is, the better sex is—for her AND for you.
6 Tips to Make a Woman Horny
1. Take Your Time
This is probably the easiest place to make huge leaps in the quality of your sex.
I get that life is busy and casual encounters may need to fit into a schedule, but what about scheduling an extra thirty minutes and planning for it?
Even if we love a quickie, even if it’s hot and fun sex, a woman’s body simply takes more time to rev up. Sure, it might seem like things are going fine and that she’s enjoying herself. But more time will take her higher.
Take more time kissing and groping before the clothes come off. Take more time at each step. Reassure her there’s no hurry. Often, we don’t fully relax to accommodate sensations because we know there isn’t time for them to happen. Assure her that you have that time. We can simmer and simmer before boiling over, and it’s worth the time!
Read: Hot Tips for Extending Foreplay
2. Make It Personal to Make Her Horny
It doesn’t matter if she’s your wife or a one-night stand you met online—to get completely aroused, women need to feel desired. There’s a big difference for us in you being “horny” and “horny for you.”
Do you see the difference?
This is not because we secretly expect you to marry us or because we don’t understand men or don’t like casual encounters and variety. We do. This is simply how our hormones operate.
We want to feel unique, not interchangeable.
Turning you on turns us on, even though you are quite possibly turned on by just about everything. It’s a paradox but the solution is simple—make it personal. Make it about “your titties” rather than generic titties. Don’t say “I’ve been horny all day” when you can say, “I’ve been thinking about undressing your body all afternoon.” Notice her perfume and clothes. Use specific and personal dirty talk.
Read: Get Her in the Mood Before You Get to the Bedroom
3. Use a Dildo
A lot of times, a guy is holding back because he doesn’t want to blow. But I need more penetration. I might be able to climax anyways, but getting as much penetration as I want without worrying means it will be more intense.
Read: How to Make Her Come with Oral Sex and a Dildo
4. Pay Attention
You have to remember that sex is easy for women to get. What’s in short supply is quality of company and attention.
Pay attention to her, even if it’s just the few hours you are together. Listen when she talks. Observe what her needs are and meet them. Invite her to communicate. This will work wonders in and out of bed.
Read: How to Make Her Wet and Ready for Sex
5. Invite Her to Prepare and Get Horny
Inviting physical and psychological preparation for sex is not appropriate for every hookup or personality type. But can work really well if she’s a sub and is being guided, or if she’s very open-minded, self-aware, and sees the value of mindfulness in her erotic life.
Sometimes I do this without being “invited” to do so. Unbeknownst to a lover, I prepare myself before we meet, treating my body as if I was queen—allowing the mindset for stirring lust, fantasizing all afternoon, choosing my lingerie carefully.
I’m more of a jeans and ponytail type and more in a hurry than “this” type, more often than not. But with the right guy—or another woman—bringing myself into erotic space before we meet and buzzing with anticipation is worth the extra effort because the sex will be explosive.
Read: 4 Ways to Build Anticipation before a Date
6. Up Your Oral Game
Guys skip cunnilingus too often. Women often interpret this as a sexist double standard, but I’ve only met a few guys who aren’t dying to eat, lick, and suck. Women say they feel they’re not “fresh” enough and get self-conscious, but dudes like to lick butt and sniff used panties, so I don’t think it’s about freshness!
My theory is that it’s easier to skip it because you’re just not always sure what you’re doing. That’s because every girl is different with cunnilingus, so you have to learn what she wants every time. Stop worrying about impressing her with your pussy eating skills, and impress her by wanting to do it her way!
Tell her upfront, “I know every woman needs something different down here, so let me get to know you.” Invite her to show you what feels good by saying “this” or… “this” with a few strokes and samples that she can moan to accordingly.
And take your time here! It can take ten to twenty minutes just to relax into receiving oral! Give her that time. She can’t relax because she’s used to this being so hurried. Once she relaxes, be playful with different swirls and strokes, and don’t penetrate her with tongue or fingers until she’s begging. Make her horny with some dirty talk, but don’t overdo it—just a few words every now and again.
Read: How to Give Her Better Oral Sex
Pussy licking is the best way to arouse her and for her to climax, so don’t skimp here if you’re trying to make her horny!
How do you know when to move on? Only when she’s begging for your cock inside her. And not on the first or second beg.
What do you do to make a woman horny? Dare to share!
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