What Women Want to Know before Sex

Women want to know a few things before they have sex with you.

Is running into the ideal hookup at a bar and going home after one drink possible? Sure… but it’s usually not how things play out.

The obvious concerns around safety are always going to be there for women, but what else do we want to know?

I recently discussed this with girlfriends to get an overview of what women want to know—from your dating profile or from you in conversation—before they have sex with you.

It’s much easier for most women to find casual sex than it is for most men. And most women can take it or leave it if they don’t have certain knowledge previous to getting down. When you know and accept this, you will be able to adjust and present yourself in a way that provides women with the information they want before they move on to the next possible lay.

Read: How to Meet Women Who Want Casual Sex

What Do Women Want Before Sex?

We Want to Know Your Relationship Status

Single, married, or somewhere in between—we want to know where you are in the dating scheme of things. Of course, if you’re married and looking to cheat, you probably aren’t going to share that. But maybe you’re polyamorous and you and your wife have an open relationship with rules that you both adhere to.

Women want to know this kind of thing.

Sharing that you are recently divorced is also information we like to know. Or if you are separated and taking a break.

It may seem inconsequential, but it may affect our decision either way.

We Want to Know Your Intentions

A man’s intention is something women look for right away in online dating profiles. We want to know what YOU are looking for.

If it’s just casual sex and flings, and if that’s all we want it’s a perfect match. If we want sex, but are open to other possibilities, we may be hoping to read that you are too.

When you don’t say whether you are looking for casual sex, short-term dating, or long-term relationships, it can be a turn-off. It might feel like we’re wasting our time.

To find more matches on dating sites, you should always fill out this part of your bio. If you want casual sex but something regular, like a fuck buddy, just put it out there.

Read: Hookup Etiquette Tips for Men

We Want to Feel a Connection

Chemistry isn’t something you can just write in a dating profile, but it’s something a woman will want before she has sex. This is where the first date comes in.

So yes, even if it’s just casual sex, she will want to meet up, get to know you a little, and assess what you’re like around other people to get a sense of who you are. She’ll watch how you treat others, how you treat her, and of course, determine if there’s any kind of connection.

Read: What to Do When There’s No Chemistry on a Date

She may want to ask you questions online before even meeting. Be honest and open, and try to make her feel as comfortable as possible.

Plan a casual date that isn’t the standard coffee shop interview, something that shows off your best side.

Read: First Date Ideas When You Just Want to Hook Up

We Want to Know that We Are Safe

Some women are more comfortable hooking up at their own place, whether it’s because they have a guy roommate or because she just knows where everything is. Other women may prefer to go to your place because they are more comfortable leaving than having to ask you to leave if things get weird. Follow her lead with this one to help her feel safe.

Read: Where to Hook Up When Home Isn’t an Option

Most of us have kinks, if not full-on fetishes, but expecting these to play out during casual sex encounters, especially the first time you fuck, is asking a lot. A woman isn’t going to let you tie her up the first time because the required trust just isn’t there. So keep your kinks in check with lowered expectations while tempering what you do share, verbally or physically.

If the connection is there and a hookup is on the horizon, be prepared with protection. The last thing a woman wants to hear from a man is, “Do you have any condoms?” after he takes you back to his place. We may have some at home in our bedside table, but we don’t usually carry them around like men.

Read: How to Plan a Safe Hookup for a Woman

What do you want to know before you’ll have sex?

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