We all know that people don’t talk during sex the way they do in movies or porn or books. And while some of us barely speak, preferring to let the moans and squeals speak for themselves, most of us engage in some back-and-forth dialogue during the dirty.
Now, how much is too much or not enough, and what is appropriate or not? Like most interactions during dating and mating rituals, there’s some etiquette to follow that women will appreciate. Are there exceptions to the rules? Of course. But here are some guidelines to follow when it comes to boudoir chit chat and topics you should avoid.
7 Topics to Avoid During Sex
1. Relationship Issues
Nothing kills a mood faster than bringing up the tiff you had last night. There’s always tomorrow to discuss who did what wrong or who thinks who was right. Just remember, if things are really bad in a relationship, she’s not having sex with you at all, so enjoy the here and now and work things out—outside the bedroom.
Read: Let Your Fingers Do the Talking in the Bedroom
We all get stressed out in our work lives, whether it’s at the construction site, coffee shop, or home office. Work and finances can trouble relationships in so many ways.
Connection is a time to soothe yourselves, and take your mind of daily stressors. Focus on the woman you’re with, and put those worries aside. Staying present during sex can be challenging, but worth it for better intimacy—and better orgasms.
We all have body image issues that can affect our confidence inside and outside the bedroom. When you talk about it during foreplay it can really spoil a scene.
Self-deprecation can be okay in very small doses, but it won’t keep her attention for long. If you aren’t brimming with sexy swag, fake it til you make it. And whatever you do, don’t talk about HER weight. If your issues are affecting more than just your sex life, you may consider seeking therapy.
Some people never talk about their exes and some love to share stories, usually bad ones. But during sex, it’s considered tacky and just bad etiquette. A woman wants to feel like the only one in that moment, even if it’s not a serious relationship. Be respectful and leave your exes where they are, in the past.
5. Weird Kinks
Are you thinking about sharing your desire to walk your lover around on a dog leash? Think again.
Whatever BDSM practices or kinks you may be into need to be shared at the right time, especially if they are more than just light bondage or fun role play. Build the trust and get a sense of a person’s sexual tastes and turn ons before you spring your kink on her during dirty talk.
Read: When to Share Your Sexual Fantasies
6. Parents or Kids
If your mother-in-law has been driving you crazy or your kid’s grades are slipping, sexy time is the wrong time to bring up the conversation.
These subjects are likely to either cause an argument that derails the task at hand, or just have the two of you engaging in a deep conversation that does matter but could have been put off until tomorrow. If sex is a rarity in your busy lives, put this on the shelf for another day.
7. Penis Size
Women already know that a man’s size is never to be brought up because it is the most sensitive of subjects. For guys, I think it should also be off limits.
If you ask her how your size measures up, she’s going to say you’re all good, no matter what she thinks (it’s the right thing to do.) If you have a small penis and you know how to make the most of it, we don’t care. If you are extra large and draw attention to that fact, you come off as arrogant. Show us what you got, without talking about it.
Read: How to Approach First-Date Conversation
What other subjects are off the table for you during sex? Please share!
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