Most women I know, including myself, like to have a date or two to suss out our attraction to someone we’ve just met online or at the bar before jumping into bed with them. We also want to assess any safety risks that the hookup might pose. But…
Women and men meet online all the time with the specific intent of having sex. They don’t want the bells and whistles of dating and courting—they want to get laid with no strings attached. This is what we call blind hookups. It’s not quite the blind date of old, as you do see pictures, read profiles, check out their social media, and message back and forth to some degree before meeting up for sex.
Are there rules for blind hookups? Is there a playbook that must be followed? No, of course not, but there is behavior that will open the door for future hookups if that might be something either of you desires, and also conduct that will keep your dating reputation intact.
Dos and Don’ts for Blind Hookups
Wait until She’s Ready to Meet
Women want to be sure. There are too many incidents of violence against women in blind hookups to be any other way. We don’t need you to be Mr. Right, just not someone we feel anxious or unsure of. Answer all her questions, and don’t rush her.
Let Her Choose the Setting
This one is important. She may be okay going to your place, but it’s more than likely she will want to invite you to her place where she feels safe and comfortable, where she might have a roommate or friendly neighbors. Or she might want to hook up at a hotel.
Never show up to a blind hookup without condoms. It’s just not cool to put that on her. Most of us come packing too, but it’s your junk that needs the wrapping. If it’s your place, you might also want lube, clean sheets, clean towels in a clean bathroom, maybe a few drinks and snacks.
Help Her Home Safely
This is just the gentlemanly thing today, even in this day and age where women are doing it for themselves. You don’t have to walk her home, but call a cab or Uber, and if you want to go the extra mile, you can pay for it too (recommended if the sex was to your liking and you hope to see her again).
We all want to put our best foot forward when we write up our dating profiles, but she’s going to meet you and see certain discrepancies quite quickly if you’ve gone too far. Do not post pictures of you two years ago, before you gained that last twenty. And don’t write in your bio that you adore your two pugs that don’t actually exist.
Lie about Your Intentions
Whether it’s in your dating profile or something you say upon meeting, be up front about your intentions. Are you single and only up for casual sex? Are you open to any kind of relationship? Are you polyamorous, already in a relationship, and looking for sex on the side? Keep it real.
Be a Selfish Lover
It’s just sex, right? But not just sex for you. If you’re hoping to get a blowjob, make the first move and go down. I know that’s seen as an impressive move by many of my girlfriends. One night only doesn’t mean it’s all about the orgasm, either. The beauty of a blind hookup is that you can feel more uninhibited sometimes because there’s yet to be feelings attached. Embrace that, and give it your all!
Give Her Hope where There Is None
When all is said and done, there’s a good chance that you both know how you feel about the possibility of another hookup. If you sense that she’s keen to get together, but you’re not, be clear instead of saying you’ll text her tomorrow (without any intention of doing so). There’s nothing worse than a cowardly gentleman. Be honest and gentle on your way out the door.
Have you had blind hookups? What dos and don’ts do you follow?