Online dating is hard enough as it is, so why make things worse by creeping women out? This is a question I’ve asked myself many times when faced with strange, off-putting aspects of a man’s profile. (Why is this guy who says he’s looking for something serious have a pic of himself flanked by two busty blondes?)
Even if those are your twin sisters, your profile may feature other cringe-worthy red flags. Here’s what to guard against.
4 Dating Profile Red Flags
1. Out-of-Focus or Obscured Pics
Are you insecure about your looks, or ambivalent about the whole online dating thing? If so, hiding your face is not an effective way to deal. Your lack of a clear picture could make her wonder if you’re hiding from someone or if your face is covered in weeping sores. What’s worse is that she might not wonder anything at all, as she’ll be too busy clicking on some other guy who had the balls to show her what he looks like.
When I come across a faceless profile, I subconsciously peg the guy behind it as some kind of creepy voyeur, hiding behind the bushes, masturbating as all the women go by—don’t be that guy.
2. Massive Gaps in Your Profile
Take time to fill out all the sections. Don’t just snap a few selfies and leave it at that, unless you want your profile to look like a drunken mistake, or something you threw together in a fit of horniness and self-loathing.
Even if you don’t have anything that exciting to say, put it out there. Any woman who’s interested in you will read your profile fully, and with an eye to things like grammar, attention to detail, and overall effort. An empty profile screams lazy. It also suggests you have something to hide.
3. Expressed Aversion to Fatties or Crazies
I’ve mentioned this in other posts I’ve written, but it bears repeating: Language that has the potential to hurt, offend, or alienate does not enhance your profile it any way. Instead, it makes you sound like a closed-minded ignoramus with a chip on his shoulder.
If there’s a specific type of woman you want to attract, describe her in positive terms. Focus on your desires, and assume that your ideal match is out there. If you’re so butt hurt over past dating rejections that you can’t help but spew hatred and vitriol at women you haven’t even met yet, perhaps you should take some time to heal before jumping back into the online dating arena.
4. Obvious Contradictions
Does your profile say you’re thirty-five, but your picture is of someone in his early twenties? Do you list veganism as one of your interests, but there’s pic of you in camouflage, standing next to your latest kill? Do you say you have a PhD in English Lit but can’t spell for shit? These are but a few of the contradictions I’ve encountered in my online dating adventures, and in every case I passed these guys by. While it’s possible they were being sarcastic, I didn’t want to take the chance.
It’s always best to be straight up on your profile, and save your obscure sense of humor for real life. Contradictions like these suggest you’re dishonest, or stupid or both, so why take the chance?
What do you consider a red flag in an online dating profile? Leave us a comment!