Soon it will be one year since we first heard the dreaded word “coronavirus” in the pandemic context. We thought or prayed that a few weeks quarantine would be a breeze, and the thing would go the way of acid-washed jeans. Instead, the world has changed completely, with various levels of lockdowns, travel restrictions, social-distancing regulations, curfews, and even sex recommendations from governments.
Every country and county has different legal mandates and social gathering rules as we fight to tame the spread of this disease. And while some of you may have skipped holiday dinner with the extended family, a more pressing question is what has happened to sex? How has social distancing impacted hookup culture and casual dating?
People have responded in different ways, depending where they live, what restrictions have been imposed, and their personal fear or risk level.
What to Do about Sex during Covid
Continue on in the Same Way
For some, but not most, it has been business as usual when it comes to their sex life. Just as some people flout masks and social distancing, and reject condoms, there are people who date unabated.
For my friend Maria, “the same way” means no sex. She laments, “I wasn’t getting any before, so why start now.”
Carry On, but Carefully
Many people report that they have carried on with their chosen lifestyle or sex patterns, but on a reduced scale, with more careful screening practices. Fewer partners, avoiding parties, and a lot more questions about exposure to the virus.
Date mostly Online
Lots of people responded by making good use of online dating apps, instead of bars and parties (which weren’t even an option in many places).
Even if the chatting ends in sex, avoiding crowds, dancing, concerts, and house parties means cutting down most social contact and your risk drastically.
If you meet someone on a digital date with hookup potential, it can be exciting to wait out that first date, and safe!
To meet new play partners online, try our recommended Best Hookup Sites.
Stick with One Partner
Lots of folks have chosen to stay with a current lover, even if that wasn’t the long-term plan at the time. Many people in a monogamous partnership stayed that way. And some who happened to be dating happily, but had no plans to settle down, decided to continue on together and close the door for practical reasons.
Stop Seeking New Polyamorous Partners
It was the same for some polyamorous partners, but many poly lovers are choosing to stay involved with the people already in their bubble or circle and not introduce new partners for the time being.
Follow Government Hookup Regulations
Many governments have advised against multiple hookups, or recommended masks or no kissing, and doggie-style sex. While this might feel impersonal, it was better than nothing for some.
Some people stopped dating or having sex entirely. One of my lovers chose this, and said it will be the first time he’s gone this long without sex since he turned seventeen. He’s focusing on other things and is designing a video game, studying Italian, and learning to bake.
Celibacy has been depressing for many, and for others an opportunity for something new, knowing it is temporary.
Engage in Virtual Sex
Lots of people have compromised by enjoying the bounty that technology offers. Instead of just watching porn and masturbating, virtual-sex parties, mutual masturbation, and kinkfests online are all proliferating.
Others are resorting to good old fashioned phone sex or sex messaging if they are shy about getting naked for the camera. There are also online BDSM meetups, and occasions for every sexual preference.
For more ideas for sex during covid, read How to Hook Up during a Pandemic.
So, what are you doing about sex during the pandemic? Please share in the comments!