Online dating is nothing new, but more and more people are using digital platforms like Zoom to meet up for first dates and beyond. Many people have gained experience through such platforms by working at home and having meetings, or through chatting to loved ones who live long-distance. If you don’t consider yourself tech savvy, there’s no need to despair—it’s not difficult to set up through your phone or computer.
Whether you’re unable to get out and meet up with women face to face, or you want to be extra cautious before you meet in person, it’s a great option to have because there’s so much you can tell about someone by dating digitally. And it’s inexpensive if that’s a concern.
Dos and Don’ts for Digital Dating
DO Be Open to the Idea of Digital Dating
If you think it’s a colossal waste of time talking online and only choose to meet with someone for the first time in person, you are missing out on a lot of potential dates and subsequent hookups. Respecting her preference for an initial date shows that you are open and flexible and want to get to know her better. It’s also an easy way to find out if there’s enough chemistry for a real life get together.
DON’T Double Book or Miss Your Connection
Most people play the online dating field, which is fine, but keep your digital dating schedule organized. If you’ve forgotten about your 9pm Zoom to Linda, and she’s sitting in front of her laptop while you’re in the garage working out or on a call with Kelly, it’s just as bad as not showing up to the bar for drinks or two-timing a woman.
DO Plan Something Interesting
She won’t be expecting anything too extravagant, so keep it simple but interesting. You might have something to show her that you’ve been working on if you’re an artist, or introduce her to your dog or cat. Maybe you want to give her a tour of your rooftop patio via your phone screen. Some people even enjoy a dinner together, apart. Use your imagination to make it more than the coffee date equivalent.
DON’T Completely Wing It
Even the most experienced and confident online daters put a little thought into their digital dates. I recommend reading through her entire profile right before you meet online, especially if you have more than one date a week. Mixing up her work details or travel history or interests with someone else could have her signing of early… or forever.
DO Get Ready for the Occasion
We all have our at-home cozy attire we prefer to lounge in, but try to put a little effort into your presentation for online dates. No suit and tie required, just a button shirt or even a cool T, as long it doesn’t have stains or holes in it. Also, have a shower, trim your beard and nose hairs, put some lip balm on, and pick up any dirty laundry that might be in view behind you.
DON’T Judge Her by Her Surroundings
If you’re someone who has a lot of meetings online, you know how interesting it can be to see what your co-workers’ home look like. Remember the don’t-judge-a-book-by-it’s-cover rule if you see that she lives in a way that is surprising or strange for you. Asking about something you find curious in her background is a great way to break the ice.
DO Focus and Pay Attention
It’s so easy to be distracted at home, with so many things calling our attention. But when you’re online dating and on a digital date, clear away what could be potentially distracting (e.g., your phone if you’re using your laptop to Zoom) and give her your full attention. Use eye contact to connect and keep the conversation going with open-ended questions.
DON’T Leave Her Hanging
Whether your date was fifteen minutes or two hours, send her a follow-up message or text to let her know what you’re thinking. Either tell her you enjoyed meeting her, but don’t feel the right kind of connection, while wishing her luck in her future dating endeavors, or tell her you loved chatting and can’t wait to talk some more online or in person if she’s ready to. Unless she was extremely rude, there is never a reason not to be polite and cordial when moving on.
Are you digitally dating? What tips would you share?