I’m a kinky, polyamorous woman, and I love the missionary sex position.
By now you know I love to take it every which way. I love making love to men, to women, to transgender lovers, and to more than one lover at a time.
I’m not what most would call “vanilla.” But even so, the classic missionary sex position is my favorite of them all.
What Is Missionary Position?
The missionary position is when the woman is on her back, underneath the man who is on top. He penetrates her vagina with his cock. Having sex with the man on top and the woman on the bottom is known as the missionary position.
The reason it is called the missionary position is because Christian missionaries supposedly deemed it the only acceptable sex position during the colonial era. Legend has it that Christians were shocked that other cultures in Africa and the Americas had sex in other positions. Other sex positions were supposedly considered unnatural and immoral.
The missionary position is the most common sex position. It is disparaged by some as being boring, or vanilla, and sometimes, politically, as being anti-feminist because the man controls the thrusting and the woman is subservient.
Some feminists say that only the man gets pleasure from the missionary position and that the female cannot control the sex and does not receive pleasure or control the pace and rhythm, therefore, she is not able to experience pleasure or orgasm.
Read: How to Thrust a Woman for More Pleasure
However disparaged, it remains “the classic.” And millions of women, like myself, report it as being a favorite! While no one wants to have only one sex position, in and of itself, the missionary sex position is classic for good reason.
Read: 6 Tips to Find the Right Sex Position for You
Benefits of the Missionary Position
Missionary sex is easy and comfortable for most people, making it accessible and natural for different bodies, different genders, and different abilities.
It is intimate face-to-face sex that allows for kissing, talking, and communication.
It is easy to move into missionary position for sex from her receiving oral sex.
It is easy for her to relax. She can control the thrusts and rhythm by moving her body to respond to yours and by communicating her needs. She can position her legs spread open to enjoy the feeling of receiving, or she can plant her feet and be more active in thrusting.
Importantly, she can roam your body with her hands during missionary sex, see you and your body, and have free hands to play with her clitoris.
Many women love the feeling of being “taken” or “overcome,” and many men are aroused by doing the taking.
The missionary position is also versatile! There are many positions within the position. Although it is famous for being man on top of woman, there is no reason why it can’t be man on top of man, or two female lovers, or transgender lovers.
The missionary position is comfortable for most women for deep penetration—if his cock is smaller, this position allows a lot of sensation of penetration. If he is on the large side, this doesn’t go too deep, where many women find doggy position painful if he’s too big.
Missionary sex is also versatile because it is easy to use toys together this way.
7 Missionary Position Variations
1. Closed Missionary Position
Closed missionary position, also known as closed leg missionary, is basically just missionary sex but with her closing her legs or keeping them together.
This gives the male a tighter fit, and it allows more friction for her clitoris.
2. Kneeling Missionary Position
The man on top may find kneeling between her legs more flexible than laying down, and this works great too if she is petite and finds his weight heavy.
3. Spread Eagle Missionary Position
Many women do this naturally without thinking about it. If you usually do closed-leg missionary, or curl your legs around him, this one is basically just spreading your legs as wide as you can in a V.
I love the sensation of being wide open and the deep penetration it gives. He can hold your ankles and sink down, which will stretch your legs open further. Or you can hold your own ankles and open as wide as you can.
Read: Best Sex Positions for Deep Penetration
4. The Viennese Oyster Position
If she’s really flexible, she can spread like a contortionist by pulling her legs back to the bed beside her head. This is an incredibly exposed and open position, also great for receiving oral sex.
5. Anvil Position
She can hook her legs up over your shoulders in this missionary sex position. This gives her quite a bit of leverage, and really entwines your bodies.
6. Butterfly Missionary Position
The butterfly position is with her on the edge of the bed or a bench or table, with her legs draped over or lifted up. This allows him to stand.
This position works wonders if you both love missionary sex but he has arthritis or an injury, or conversely, you want athletic flexibility, such as putting one knee up on the bed or planting a foot beside her for really deep athletic thrusting. She can angle her body or spread or close as she needs.
The male standing butterfly missionary position is also amazing for him because he can see all the penetrative action close up.
7. Reverse Missionary Position
The reverse missionary position is a fun variation. You know the reverse cowgirl- when she straddles you backwards and rides into the sunset. In the reverse missionary, you ride backwards, facing her feet.
Read: 5 Cowgirl Sex Positions to Try
This is a very unusual angle for penetration and can take some practice to make it work. Your dick will be going down, so use common sense and sensitivity, so you don’t hurt yourself or each other. The unique angling is a nice variant for different sensations for both of you.
How to Make Missionary Sex Better
There are no limits to missionary sex, and you can switch it up or make it better with a bit of imagination.
The main benefit is being able to touch each other and see each other, so make good use of that. This position works wonders for his and hers nipple stimulation—use your hands, mouths, teeth, or toys like a vibrating bullet or nipple clamps.
There is lots of room to add a vibrator if he is kneeling or standing, so give her the clitoral action she needs.
You can also try double penetration when she’s open wide and wants more—using a dildo in her ass, or stretching her open by pushing a dildo in alongside your cock. You can use the dildo on her when you need a break as well.
Read: 5 Best Anal Sex Positions for Maximum Pleasure
Change the angle throughout missionary sex by switching to kneeling, laying, standing, and reverse missionary. Change the depth and friction with her opening her legs wide, closing them, or moving her legs into a different position.
For more missionary sex tips, read: Ways to Enhance the Missionary Position
How do you feel about the missionary sex position?
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