Why You Should Wait for Her to Initiate Sex

Men initiate sex more often, both in relationships and casual hookups. Of course, there are plenty of women who have no problem initiating sex, and some that actually prefer to make the first move, but still, it happens less so than men.

Many women only want sex when they’re in the mood, whereas most men would be delighted to have it anytime it’s available.

Something else I’ve discovered through my many relationships and those of my girlfriends is that the more sex a woman is having, the more she generally wants. But after months of not having sex, women generally get busy with other things in their lives and not give it nearly as much thought that men do when they’re in a dry spell.

So when you keep initiating sex with your partner, and she keeps turning you down, either with a gentle dismissive, a swat of the hand, or a flat out “no,” it may be time to switch your approach. Or when you are repeatedly being sexually rejected at the end of your first dates, moving out of the driver seat isn’t a bad idea.

5 Reasons to Wait for Women to Initiate Sex

While it’s nice to feel that one’s partner can’t keep his hands off you and finds you sexually desirable, it can sometimes defeat the purpose. Let’s look at how waiting for her to initiate sex can be a good thing.

1. She Will Come to You

Maybe you’re initiating too often, and your need or desire for sex is not the same. If a woman feels like there’s never room to make her move because your next one is just around the corner, she won’t bother.

Give her the breathing space to “plan her attack,” and you might be surprised. Instead of fending you off, she’ll be waiting until the time is right for her. If your sex drive is much higher, fill in the gaps with masturbation.

2. Initiating Builds Confidence

While sexual rejection, for whatever reason, can lower one’s confidence, the opposite holds true for having initiated a desire for sex that is rewarded. Because it’s rare that you will not be interested, let her confidence grow from the follow through of her initiation.

In a long-term relationship, you won’t suffer the same blow of being turned down after an anticipatory first date hoping for a hookup at the end of the night.

Read: 4 Ways to Build Sexual Confidence

3. You’ll Know She’s Into You

If you initiate and she consents, then you’ll know she wants sex—but you won’t know if she wants you, exactly. Lots of us ladies love casual sex for sex’s sake only, and yes, you could feel used if you were hoping for more.

If you are looking for sex to turn into a relationship, if you want to be sure she’s all about you and not getting laid, then wait for her to come to you. Patience outweighs perseverance here.

Read: How to Know if She Wants More than Casual Sex

4. She May Want the Control

A lot of of naturally submissive women (in the bedroom) fantasize about turning the tables, about being in charge of everything—from when to have sex to what kind of sex to how long it’s going to last.

When you let her take the reins, you might be pleasantly surprised at how things unfold. And if you like a dominant woman, you’ll have nothing to say but to obey.

Read: How to Find Femdom Hookups

5. Sex Will Improve when She Initiates

I’ve been in a lot of relationships where I had sex because I loved my partner and didn’t want him to go without for too long, but my heart wasn’t always in it.

While I think it’s important for couples to continue a thread of sex or preferably more than a thread to keep the connection strong, I’d rather take one mind-blowing sex session to three perfunctory in and outs. And that’s more likely to happen when she gets things rolling.

Read: Encourage Her to Take More Initiative in Bed

What’s your sex initiation ratio with your partner? Do you always make the first move for casual sex?

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