Spanking is a wonderful way to play with lovers, whether you want to do the spanking or be the spankee.
A lot of people may be initially turned off by spanking hookups because of the violence or pain that they associate with spanking, but it need not get that heavy or serious.
Like any BDSM activity, spanking lies on a spectrum that runs from kinky vanilla to hardcore BDSM. You and your lover choose the who, how and when, where and what.
It’s easy for me to promote spanking, as I’ve come to love the practice. It’s a foreplay that gets me so primed and ready mentally, not to mention wet. When spanking is involved, I know I’m going to orgasm, at least once.
And sometimes it can lead to other acts I don’t normally participate in like anal sex or double penetration—that’s how much it turns me on.
6 Ways to Enjoy Spanking Hookups
Whether you are new to spanking or being spanked, or you engage in it all the time, check out these ideas from my playbook and a few on my to-do list to add to your repertoire.
1. Add Spank Play to Roleplay
If you can’t quite imagine yourself spanking your lover because “it feels mean,” get into a role, and let the character do it!
Spanking is the perfect adjunct to teacher/schoolgirl role plays or other popular duos like husband/babysitter and stepdad/daughter. Having your hookup lie across your lap for some classic over-the-knee (OTK) spanking requires nothing more than your hand and a little imagination.
Read: Kinky Role Play Ideas
2. Test Limits
Spanking is something you can test your limits with, and it can help you get to know another person, help you bond and develop the trust necessary to continue exploring.
When you feel the warmth of her skin beneath your hand or her labia swelling, it will have you hard before you know it. Depending how far you want to go, you can create safe words that can be used to communicate a need to stop or slow down.
3. Explore Spanking Implements
There’s nothing wrong with just using your hand to spank with—it’s right there, and you can easily control how hard you spank because you can feel it directly. But, there are a whole host of things to experiment with.
There are things around the house like belts, straps, and hairbrushes, or specialty kink items you can order online, like paddles, floggers, canes, and whips. Always research items and test gently to play safely.
4. Bind and Spank
The great thing about most kinks in BDSM is that you can mix and match. Some things just go great together like bondage and spanking.
Tying someone up doesn’t mean that you can take advantage or hurt them, it just means there is an added element of helplessness and vulnerability that often increases arousal.
If you are the submissive in the relationship, you will love handing over the reins to your partner for this spank play combo.
5. Mix Anal and Spanking Hookups
This is on my to-do list after I stumbled upon some saucy porn scenes. I watched a dominatrix in leather and fishnets spank her bound partner on his knees… cut to a fuck machine inserting a dildo up his ass, moving in and out, while he licked her in time with the machine. Wow!
I don’t know if I can afford a fuck machine, but I’ve a got a strap-on I can use. This is something I’d be happy to try on both sides. Switching between dominant and submissive is great for all relationships.
6. Spanking Threesome
Imagine being spanked by two women? How does that make you feel? What about if you were blindfolded? If just the thought of this spanking hookup scenario excites you, it’s worth looking for.
If you’re in an open relationship, you can find a third on threesome dating sites for spanking play partners. If you’re single, don’t despair. Many couples are looking for men like you to join them for kinky fun.
Create a spanking dating profile that gets specific about what you are looking for, and see what comes your way.
To find spanking hookups near you, see our favorite sites for every desire:
What spanking hookup tips or ideas can you add to this list?