Up until a couple years ago, the only spanking I had experienced came from the odd man who had watched too much porn and seemed to be imitating what he’d seen. It was always when I was in doggie and he was thrusting from behind. There wasn’t anything sensual about it, and it just left me cold. It wasn’t until I began trying kinky role plays with a very open lover that spanking became something I really enjoyed. Since then I’ve explored spanking and its variations and will share some tips for beginners.
6 Tips for Spanking Beginners
1. Find a compatible play partner. If someone has never tried spanking or any type of kink, they may think it’s about pain or punishment (and it can be for some bdsm couples), but most people add spanking to their play for pleasure only. It’s important to find a lover who you can trust and one who will respect your boundaries and pain thresholds.
2. Use role playing as a catalyst. Spanking is a perfect addition to role plays like teacher/student, boss/employee, or dad/babysitter where a little light punishment might be order, wink wink.
3. Experiment with different tools and toys. Most spanking beginners will start by using their hand because it’s there and because they can feel the pressure. Different spanking tools (paddles, crops, hairbrushes, spoons) have different sensations, so playing around with various instruments is a good idea to find out what feels best to your partner. Toys that really enhance the experience include blindfolds, bondage restraints, and vibrators.
4. Change the intensity and tempo. Anticipation is key when it comes to arousal through spanking (why blindfolds are so great!) and why it’s good to mix soft and hard spanks, as well as a combo of quick-succession spanks and drawn out ones.
5. Vary positions. This type of kinky play works well in many positions. The spankee can be over your lap or standing while bending forward with their hands on the ground or a chair. You may also want to try the double spank with both hands while under your lover in the 69 position!
6. Have fun. Nothing ruins a kinky interaction than when one or more lover gets too serious, especially if you are a novice. Sometimes when you try something for the first time, it can seem strange and awkward, but if you’re with the right person, you will get the hang of it and really enjoy the experience.