Some hookups are accidents waiting to happen. She might be smoking hot, with legs that won’t quit and breasts that defy gravity. If she’s a bit messy, who cares, right? You’re just hooking up and so it won’t get complicated.
But maybe she’s trouble, and you should steer clear.
Watch out for these signs that she’s trouble, and perhaps too hot to handle.
12 Signs Your Hookup Is Trouble
1. She texts or calls constantly.
Her interest might seem flattering, but a woman who calls or texts you constantly is clingy and needy. You feel like she can’t stop thinking about you, but think about it: she is already showing her desperate need of validation, and she expects it from complete strangers.
When potential or new lovers begin contact, of course it can be heady and heated when you’re insanely attracted to each other. You definitely text more often than you do with your Aunt Ethel, and that’s normal. But if you feel as if you can’t get away, even for a moment, that’s a giant red flag waving like a scream.
2. She needs outrageous amounts of attention.
Same thing, but even more intense. If she’s demanding to know why you didn’t call an hour after your latest chat, you know she is trouble. If she’s accusing you of looking at the waitress when you had to look at the waitress because you look at people when you talk to them, her needs are probably greater than you can fill—or anyone.
3. She tells you everything.
There’s a rush of intimacy when you spill your secrets to each other, and it can make you feel wonderfully special. But are you? If she’s giving up the goods before you’ve established a deep trust and a relationship, it’s more than likely a sign that she overshares with everyone. That’s a red flag that means someone has no boundaries, and that they live for their dramas and traumas. It’s more appropriate to get at the deep and personal stuff as a relationship unfolds.
Some people have a very open personality and don’t treat everything that happens to them as a secret. If she’s just letting you know she’s polyamorous or divorced, that is hardly “telling you everything” even if some people wait longer to divulge. But there’s a big difference between being honest and candid and dumping a boatload of drama on anyone who will listen.
4. She wants you to choose between her and your family, work, and other commitments.
A friend told me a horror story about a woman he slept with once. They met for a one-time hook up, and decided to do it again and make plans for the next weekend. The time she suggested was when he had his kids, and she expected him to cancel because she had her wine book club on the other night.
Umm, no. Accommodate a woman’s schedule, but don’t be a doormat.
5. She complains constantly.
You don’t want or need negativity in your life. Think about it: most people are on their best behavior and don’t show their negative sides up front. If it’s already showing, the worst is yet to come.
6. Her dating profile is too perfect.
We should all put our best foot forward in our profile, yes. No one puts their worst outtake up as their lead photo. But if you feel like you’re talking to a Barbie doll or robot, she might be trouble.
7. Her social media has nothing personal or real on it.
Of course we try to present as hot and perfect as we can on our dating profiles, but if there’s nothing real and no personal, unique details on her Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter—if she’s so polished that the shine is blinding—you have to wonder what she’s hiding.
8. Lies are easy for her.
Every woman will cut a few pounds off or a few years, and we all puff up a résumé or downplay or omit some of our past blunders. But if she lies about everything and does it without blinking, you already know how it’s going to play out later.
9. She criticizes everything you do, and everything everyone else does.
Your car, your shoes, your hair, your wallet—not good enough? Is the bartender a douche? The taxi driver can’t read road signs? Is she mean to the wait staff?
Some people lift themselves up by degrading everyone around them. If she can’t even wait a few dates before she lets that side of her slip, she’s trouble and you better run screaming.
10. She forgot her wallet.
Some women aren’t looking for sex. Their thrill is in controlling and manipulating men, and they love it when you pay. This is a classic con. I can’t tell you how many times a guy has forgotten his wallet—the old pat down when the bill comes, and women do it too.
Whatever you do, don’t fall for it. You’ll be paying for a whole lot more, forever, when all you signed up for was a little something-something.
Paying on a first date is nice, so don’t read too much into this unless it happens after that initial hookup.
11. Every ex she mentions is an asshole.
We’ve all dated duds in the past but don’t need to parade them before the next hopeful.
12. She calls you or shows up drunk or high.
Is she trouble? If she needs hard drugs or booze to get through a date, that should tell you something.
Meeting for a drink is a perfectly normal social activity for relaxing as you get to know each other, for having fun on a date, for helping us slip free of our inhibitions when we want to get busy with a new body. But you want to be on the same page and get there together. Obviously, if she’s doing more than martinis on a Wednesday morning or something, that’s a habit you can’t break.
Want more? Read: 5 Reasons to Put Off Your First Hookup
Have you experienced any other red flags that let you know she’s trouble?