If you’re like most singles, you’re a member on at least one online dating site that you log into when you’re feeling frisky. You probably take breaks here and there, but it’s there when you need it.
Some people are comfortable meeting in person after a brief exchange online, even if it’s for sex-only purposes, but most people like to wait at least a day or two if not longer. Why? Let me tell you why it’s a good idea to wait before you meet up for that first of many, or one and only hookup.
5 Reasons to Put Off Your First Hookup
1. Look for Red Flags
It’s difficult to write a dating profile that shows the whole of our personality. And most people leave out the flaws and less than desirable qualities they possess to attract the most potential partners.
Sometimes you will spot red flags in a woman’s profile that just don’t jive with what you’re looking for or go against your values, or just reveal to you that you’re not going to have much to talk about. But usually it takes some back-and-forth messaging to really get a sense of how you will get on. Don’t rush this preamble, as she is trying to figure out similar things about you.
2. Understand Motivations
Are you just horny and looking to get laid, or is there something else at play? Taking your time can reveal as much about someone’s else’s motivations as it does about yours. Maybe you realize you’re trying to make your ex jealous, or you’re attracted to a woman’s profile who is looking for something serious but you aren’t.
Be mindful of why you are planning to hook up, and make sure it matches up with potential partners. Self-awareness not only leads to good choices, but it’s also an attractive quality to possess.
3. Find Out if You’re Sexually Compatible
There’s times when you aren’t going to know if you are sexually compatible with someone until the clothes are off, but usually you can get a sense through how you communicate in conversation. Is she fun and flirty, or moody and morose? Can you tease each other, without someone’s feelings getting hurt?
After some online messaging, exchange phone numbers and see how she sounds over the phone. This may sound shallow, but the sound of her voice might be a huge turn off, or the way you talk about your online dating exploits could send her running.
4. Make a Stronger Connection
Some of us are more concerned with satisfying our libido than worrying if there’s a connection for something more. After all, sometimes sex is just sex. But if you are keen to meet someone to get serious with, then there’s no reason to rush into a first date or hookup.
Get to know her through conversation or even video chats. It won’t take you long to find out if actually meeting up is worthwhile. It’s one of the best built-in features of online dating—playing the field from the comfort of home.
5. Exude Confidence not Desperation
When you make that initial connection on a dating site—you or she messages first, and the other responds—it can be very exciting. You may be so jacked by the prospect of getting laid that you suggest a meetup the next night. Slow down, cowboy. This move probably won’t make her feel irresistible like you might think, but rather translate to a sign of desperation (that you’re jumping in quick because you think she’s going to move on otherwise.)
Most women like to get to know a guy before they commit to a date, and especially a hookup. We have compatibility concerns, but we are also very cognizant of safety—we want to feel secure about who and where we are going to meet.
What do you think? Is it worth it to take your time? Please share in the comments!