Part 4: The Final Countdown
1. As the evening progresses, and we become more comfortable with one another, you can say things that are slightly naughty, but don’t over-do it. It’s easy for sultry comments to turn skeevy – I shouldn’t think you have such a one-track mind that you can’t hold a conversation about anything else. Being interested means asking questions about me, so that when I perceive your interest in banging me, I know you’re attracted to the whole package. This is always more appealing than knowing you want to fuck just because you saw me cross the street and you like the shape of my legs.
2. A great way to build intimacy between us is to act like the whole world is a private joke that only we’re in on. If this means making light fun of those in our midst, as long as it’s funny and not too mean, go to it. And while we’re on topic, the funnier you are, the more I want to take my clothes off with you. Unfortunately, you can’t force funny – it’s a gift you either have or don’t. Women, all of us, find it irresistible. Use your natural talents!
3. Use my name every so often when you speak to me. It might sound weird at first, because people don’t tend to talk that way, but I promise if you intersperse our conversation with my name, I’ll know you’re focused on me, and it’ll give me a little thrill to hear it. True story: this is also good practice for you, ensuring that later on it’s not another woman’s name that slips out while I claw your back in ecstasy.
4. When things wind down, offer to pay, and if I counter-offer with going dutch, either accept or gently insist on paying. If it seems important to me to go dutch, for fuck’s sake let me. I have a job, too! I’m a willing participant in this! The exception to this, and an act I consider suave and sophisticated, is go to the bathroom and pay covertly while you’re gone. That way, when the drinks are finished, you can take my hand and simply lead me out the door – no arguing about money to spoil the mood or drag things out.
5. Once I’ve chosen you, and we’re entering my place (or yours) . . . don’t go all cold and dead-fish on me. Don’t make me work for it – I’m probably just as eager as you at this point. Be passionate, but not polite! For instance, don’t ask if you can kiss me, just do it. If I’ve let you in, I probably want you to make the first move, and when I respond in kind . . . let’s not waste any time. You want to push me up against the wall, pin my wrists back with one hand and kiss me hungrily while unbuttoning my shirt with the other one? Do it. If I don’t want that, I’ll let you know it, and we can switch gears or part congenially.
Remember: letting me choose you while still leading the dance is empowering, sexy, and hot. Be confident and respectful and a little naughty and it’ll probably happen. It’s all psychology from here on out: you need to indirectly convince me that sleeping with you will be a physically satisfying and intellectually gratifying/challenging experience. Unless it’s one of those times when it’s not about that, but maybe that scenario is for another article.
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Up next in The Art of the One Night Stand is “Keep It Going, Casually”: How to keep the steamy sex while avoiding the time-consuming commitment. In the meantime, is there anything else on-topic that you would like a woman’s perspective on? Let me know in the comments below! ~Jess.