4 Signs She’s Not Into You on a First Date

Have you ever been on a first date that you thought was going well, only to be given the brush off at the end of the night?

If so, you probably misread her signals. It’s easy enough to do, especially when you haven’t gotten laid in eons and every part of your psyche is primed to believe that tonight might be the night.

Just remember that extreme horniness has a way of making us believe all sorts of silly things. Here are four signs that your date’s not into you and you’re probably not going to score tonight.

4 Subtle Signs She’s Not Feeling It

1. She Moves Back Suddenly

Pay attention to her positioning. Did she start out the date leaning into the conversation, looking attentive and relaxed? Has that changed? If so, you might want to consider what you’re saying, and how you’re saying it.

Shifting her body away from you suddenly could indicate aversion, or even physical discomfort. If she moves away from you in response to some suggestive comment you’ve made, you’re probably coming on a little too strong and she’s trying to distance herself from you as best she can, short of leaving the table.

Read: What Her Body Language Says about Your Chances of Getting Laid

2. She Stares at Her Plate

This is a more subtle variation of what I mentioned above. By failing to look you in the eye, she’s likely hoping to escape the hell that has become your evening together. Consider the clues: Did she seem super engaged in the conversation at some point only to zone out suddenly, or has she been avoiding your gaze ever since you sat down together?

Some people are incredibly shy and have difficulty keeping eye contact, while others withdraw out of boredom or a feeling of awkwardness. Have you been droning on and on about something? Take a breath, then ask her some questions that might encourage your date to open up.

3. She Becomes Quiet

Let’s say she was opening up just fine, telling you all about her day, or about the latest movie she’s seen, but has since shut down and is now giving you clipped, one-word answers. Either you’ve misinterpreted the vibe of this first date and said something totally off the mark, or she’s changed her mind about hooking up.

I’ve been on first dates where the mood has shifted for me, but my dinner companion failed to notice because he was so intent on getting laid by the end of the night. Remember, any change in behavior that might indicate she’s no longer enjoying herself probably means she’s just putting in time until she can go home alone and dig into the ice cream.

4. She Seems Distracted

Is she checking her phone every few seconds, fidgeting in her seat, looking at the door, or to where your server is located? If so, she’s not enjoying herself and feels the need to direct her attention elsewhere. That’s not to say you’re a horrible first date. She might just have a lot going on and doesn’t know how to calm her nerves stay in the moment.

If this goes on for a while and it’s clear that she’s too distracted to enjoy your company, say something. She might wish to end the date early, or she might apologize and bring the focus back to you.

Read: Ending a First Date Early & Why It’s Okay

What would you add to this list from your experience? Please share in the comments!

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