Just the Tips

Ending a First Date Early & Why It’s Okay

Rude Date on Phone

I once walked out on a first date. It was at a time in my life when I wasn’t used to standing up for myself, so my hands shook and I thought I was going to puke the entire ride home.

Dude was thirty minutes late, and when he did arrive, he proceeded to berate me for the text I had sent him moments before that said, sorry we missed each other. I’m going to head out soon. He yelled, “I thought you were nice, but you’re clearly incapable of love!” I just got up and left.

Here are some reasons you might justifiably choose to cut a first date short.

4 Reasons to End a Date Early… and Feel Okay about It

1. You Were Catfished

Did your date lure you in with a profile pic from twenty years ago? Did she claim to be vegan, only to devour an entire surf and turf platter? There are plenty of ways to be deceived in online dating, some more incriminating than others.

If she’s a few pounds over what you thought she’d be, or her hair’s a darker shade than in her pics, give her a chance. On the other hand, if her lies make you feel tricked or violated or exploited, walk out and don’t look back.

2. Your Date Behaves Badly

Let’s define bad first-date behavior as anything that makes you feel unsafe, or extremely uncomfortable. If your date has a loud, snorting laugh that embarrasses you, or she uses the wrong fork to eat her salad, you should probably sit tight until dinner’s end.

If she insults you, makes racist or homophobic comments, or fails to respect your personal boundaries, by all means, cut the first date short. Honor your self-worth by refusing to be treated poorly.

3. It’s Clear There’s No Spark

What about when there’s no chemistry on a first date? I’m talking awkward deafening silence, a mutual lack of eye contact, and a desperate desire to be anywhere else.

Rather than getting up and just walking out, though, I’d suggest saying something like, “It was nice to meet you, but I really don’t think this is going anywhere, am I right?” She’ll either agree and be relieved to put an end to the night, or she’ll disagree and be offended.

Sometimes this kind of declaration breaks the ice, leading to a good laugh and a subsequent connection. What have you got to lose?

4. You Have a Personal Emergency

Be it a work emergency, or explosive diarrhea, we’ve all had things come up that require our full and immediate attention. If some pressing matter should take precedence over your date, explain the situation as best you can, then politely excuse yourself.

Once things settle down again, be sure to send a text apologizing for your early exit, then offer up some dates and times for a do-over. Don’t apologize more than once. If she’s overly pissed and can’t understand that unforeseen things happen, she’s probably not worth your time.

Have you ever ended a first date early? Tell us about it in the comments!

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