Just the Tips

Planning for Better Sex

Couple Kissing in Bed

To-Do List

Sex with the same partner can get stale after a while. Once the initial thrill is gone, things become same-old-same-old. We’ve all been there or are there.

There’s a trick I use to keep the boredom at bay. Not only does it keep the sex sharp, but it also adds plenty of spice to the days in-between hookups. And you’ll be glad to hear it’s surprisingly simple: make yourselves a To-Do List.

It’s all based on the following theory: no matter how many things we imagine doing in the sack, when the time comes, we pretty much can’t control ourselves from just getting down to the old in ’n’ out. But advance preparation and discussion will put you in a position to have a bag of tricks at hand.

Start by having a chat with your lover about what you’d like to try—but don’t have this discussion after you’ve had sex. Have it before, preferably days before leading up to your next rendezvous. Imaginations will spark. Anticipation will build. Let the ideas evolve over email and phone conversations. In essence what you’re doing is dirty talk, always knowing there’s a sure payoff on the way.

When you finally reconnect, you’ll notice: A) the days of pre-planning will instead be more like days of foreplay, for which never enough good can be said, B) rather than getting right to the old in ’n’ out, you’ll be lost on a new trick, experimenting and exploring and bringing to life what you’d been imagining, making sex a whole new experience, and C) no matter how many things you’ve put on your list, you’ll never make more than a dent in a single session, so you always have something new to look forward to—water in the well, so to speak.

So much about sex is psychological, which is why this works. It keeps the sex going, even when you’re not together. You stay in sync, which reminds you that you and your lover are a good match, which in turn heightens your anticipation to see each other again.

I use this technique, and on average I find I never get through more than about 25% of the To-Do List. And it’s a good feeling knowing that a lover’s work is never done.

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