Sharing a Fetish with a New Lover

What’s Your Fetish?

Help me out with this one:

Fetishism is nothing new. And fetishists have easily accessible forums and websites to find each other and live out their fetishy fantasies. But what about daters who have a fetish—even an intense one—but don’t classify themselves (probably rightfully so) as fetishists? How forthcoming should someone be in their profile with regards to sexual fetishes?

There’s an unfair stigma attached to fetishism, as though it were freakish. As a result, anyone who might have a fetish can be discouraged or intimidated from sharing it with others, to their own sexual detriment. How frustrating to have a sexual interest that you’re afraid to share!

I speak from experience. I do not consider myself a fetishist, but I don’t deny having a fetish (which I will keep to myself and those with whom I choose to share it). I don’t mention it in my profile, though, or when I’m first chatting someone up. Too many people (outside the “formal” fetish community) tend to find fetishes odd, for whatever reasons. If I’ve started dating someone I really dig, and the sex has been great, I still hesitate before introducing my fetish. Will she change how she feels about me? Will she end our relationship? Will she tell her friends I’m weird in bed?

Generally the results have been as expected. Some women aren’t interested in my fetish, but because my fetish is only one part of my sexual desires, we carry on without it; some women are happy to indulge me; the odd woman is a jackpot who gets off on it just as much as I do.

So why not just hang out on a fetish website, you may ask? I say again—my fetish is only one small part of what I’m into. It’s not how I identify myself sexually.

So why not be happy with the odd jackpot, you may ask? I am. But I hate feeling like a weirdo in the meantime.

My concern is this: there’s yet to be a mainstream acceptance of fetishism. I don’t even feel a push for it.

Come out of the fringes, men and women both, and introduce others to a new sexual experience, the one you’ve been keeping to yourself!

Care to share? Leave a comment below!

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