How to Boost Your Oral Sex Skills and Confidence

Q: Dear Jamie. I masturbate all the time to thoughts of eating pussy and nothing turns me on more than the idea of going down on a girl for hours.

It’s so hot to think about starting slowly outside her panties and working my way into tongue-thrusting and lapping her labia until she can’t stop coming.

You’re probably thinking what’s the problem, any man who wants nothing but cunnilingus all night must have no problem finding the ready and willing. My problem is I’m shy and usually end up taking just a couple of licks before moving on.

My new year’s resolution is to face my desires and live them out. All I want to do is lick lady labia and even though I do enjoy casual sex and hookups time to time and enjoy my dates, I can’t seem to shake my fear of doing it wrong.

Help! Do you have some tips for good cunnilingus? – Larry, 26

Q: Dear Larry. Thanks for writing! And pat yourself on your back, because you my friend are on your way to all you can eat.

I was pretty scared of going down on a woman, too, and it’s maybe for the same reason you are—I wanted to so bad, and I didn’t want to do it wrong.

A lot of guys are scared of oral sex, and I think that men don’t go down on women not because they don’t want to or because they’re selfish, but because they’re uncertain.

Once you’ve experimented more, you’ll feel confident enough to invite your hookups to the ultimate pleasure dome.

I suggest you write in your dating profile that you dream of going down on a woman for hours, but you’re kind of shy, and want an understanding girl with a willing pussy to help you experiment.

I’m not kidding. This will remove any pressure you have when you get together. I’m a big believer in telling it like it is!

As far as tips go for good cunnilingus, as women, we are all different. Whatever a man’s last partner wanted is probably the opposite of me.

Some women come from feather light breathing and tongue-tip swirling on her clit. Others want you to suck that thing hard while jamming your fingers into her up to the knuckles.

Each and every time you can set yourself at ease by whispering on your way down, “Tell me what feels best so I can keep doing it.”

Now the reassuring news: you have everything right about the timing. On average, women take a lot longer to orgasm than men, and it also takes some time to relax into oral stimulation and lose OUR self-consciousness. She may be even more self-conscious than you! Help her relax by letting you know that her scent turns you on—our biggest fear is that our morning shower didn’t hold up.

Take your time, lighten up, and just take the plunge. You’re in for a lot of pussy this year, boy!

Hookup Help is a Q&A series. If you want advice or a female’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex… we want to hear from you. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookup Land newsletter. 

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