Q: Dear Jenny. I love crazy spontaneous sex, but I realize the girl I’m with isn’t always wet enough for it to be comfortable. The thing is, I find lube so unsexy. “Excuse me while I get my tube of lube”, yuck! Should I just wait a bit longer or suck it up and bring the juice out. One girl I was with got wet just by stroking her arm. I wish every woman was like that! -Will
A: Hi Will. Spontaneous sex with a partner can be awesome. I always find the biggest problem is not getting wet but having both lovers wanting it at the same time. He might like a middle-of-the-night quickie while she’s a sex-in-the-parking-lot kinda girl. Sigh, another topic for another post.
Let’s agree: Sex isn’t comfortable or fun when a woman isn’t ready, aka dry. There’s just no point because she’ll think you’re a dick if you’re shoving yours inside her when she’s not wet enough, and you’ll feel like a jerk if you hurt her. And as you’ve found out in your sexual travels, we all start dripping at a different rate. How wet and how quickly we do get wet depends on a variety of things – how much we like a guy, our comfortability in the moment, our menstrual cycle, and the BIGGIE: how much foreplay is going on.
I’m not a fan of lube either, and I haven’t needed it as I don’t stay with a guy who doesn’t know how to engage in good foreplay – kissing, caressing, dirty talk. Foreplay should be half the fun of getting to go inside. You can still have spontaneous sex with a little flirting-with-the-clothes-on flirting.
Also, some women do get much wetter than others, even with the same amount of foreplay. If you like a woman enough and you both think a little extra juice would enhance the experience, don’t be afraid to squeeze the lube. Most people I know are packing, especially if you want back-to-back-to-back sex, and a confident woman won’t be offended.
Guys: Do you keep lube on hand at all times? And what gets your girl wet?
Hookup Help is a Q & A series. If you want advice or a female’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex… we want to hear from you. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookupland newsletter. -xo Jenny