Hookup Help is a Q & A series on Hookupland. If you want advice or a female’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex… we want to hear from you.
Q: Why is it, when I’m inside my lady, that I come so fast? – A.H.
A: Dear A.H., You are not alone. Premature ejaculation is experienced by most men at some point in their life. There are many reasons why this can happen as well as many solutions to help you last longer.
Reasons for Coming too Fast?
- You’re worried that you won’t be able to sexually satisfy your woman.
- You’re comparing yourself to her previous lovers.
- You’re experiencing first time jitters with a new lover.
- You’re level of excitement/anxiety is super high.
- You have drugs or alcohol in your system.
- Your life is very stressful outside the relationship.
Now, because one or more of these (or completely different factors) can be affecting your “come time”, there really isn’t a perfect solution or answer that is going to work all the time. Don’t believe anyone who offers up a cure-all; there isn’t one. That said, there are a few tips I can suggest that may help you to keep the volcano from erupting sooner than you would like.
Tips for Lasting Longer
Every man knows the little things that make him go WOW! It could be a favorite part of a woman’s body, a form of foreplay, or a sexual technique. Keep these zingers at bay to help you hold out.
Slow it Down
The faster you go; the faster you’ll come.
Stop and Start
As things move along (kissing, caressing, undressing) take a pause here and there when you feel the love lava bubbling. This will prevent an early eruption.
Find Your Position
We all have a fave sex position, but if you’re coming fast, you may want to seek out one that doesn’t provide the deepest penetration such as doggie-style.
When you find yourself getting close to coming, try squeezing right below the head of your penis; this should temporarily repress the ejaculatory response.
I hear this from guys all the time: masturbate before a hookup and it will help you go and go.
If you’re not already, use condoms because they help to desensitize and slow down your reaction time.
Guys: Any tips you can offer up to one another
Need some advice? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookupland newsletter. -xo Jenny