Q: Dear Jenny. I am a 23 years old and still a virgin. How do I get a lady to like and have sex with me? Frank
A: Hi Frank. First off, don’t think that being 23 is old to be a virgin. Many of your peers may be already sexually active, but there is nothing wrong with waiting for the right woman or girlfriend to come along. Many people regret just having sex to cross it off their list. You never forget your first time, so if it’s a not-so-great experience, you’ll be carrying around that memory for a long time.
You can’t really “get” a lady to like you or have sex with you. You have to let it happen organically. You’ll need patience and charm for “real world dating” (what I like to call dating without the internet). It helps to have a good-size social circle or to be in school where you are naturally surrounded by women to talk to and get to know. If this isn’t your situation, you may want to try going online. If you want to meet a woman specifically to lose your virginity, an adult dating site that caters to hookups, like affairLink.com is better than a mainstream site like OkCupid, but both have options to say you are looking for casual sex, and you can always mention wanting to lose your virginity in your profile. There are plenty of older experienced women who enjoy popping a man’s cherry.
If you have never used casual dating sites, you’ll want to take your time, browse around before joining. Most require an affordable monthly membership fee that will allow you to message and meet the ladies.
Also read: First Online Message Tips
Often when we put a lot of time and energy into trying to make something happen it only does when we cool our jets and live life to the fullest in the meantime. Best of luck, Frank!
Hookup Help is a Q & A series. If you want advice or a female’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex… we want to hear from you. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookupland newsletter. -xo Jenny