Can I Ask a Woman to Grow Out Her Pubic Hair?

Reader Dale is asking for some Hookup Help related to his pubic hair preferences…

Dear Holly,

I’m in my forties, and I consider myself a bit of a player, not that I disrespect women, but I’ve never really settled down. So I’ve had a lot of sexual partners and seen a lot of pussy. While all pussy is good pussy, I guess I have a preference when it comes to pubic hair. My taste isn’t extreme, I don’t think. I just like some hair down there.

The woman I’ve recently met shaves everything off; there’s no landing strip or anything! Although I like some trimming done, I’d rather have a big old bush than nothing at all. Would it be inappropriate to share my preference, to ask her not to shave? She’s told me that she prefers men to have facial hair, as I do, than clean shaven. How do I approach this without sounding like an asshole? – Dale

Hi Dale. This is a delicate subject to be sure. Women do not want to be told what to do with their bodies, pubic hair included! As someone who has tried most looks in the pube department—full hairy bush, trimming, patterns, and bald—for various reasons, I’ll share my thoughts and feelings on your dilemma.

Most men, and it sounds like this includes you, are not going to turn away a woman because of a little hair or lack thereof. Nor should you. It’s just hair after all. I prefer men with hair on their heads, but it doesn’t stop me from messaging a sexy bald guy. Also, some women have gone to the extreme of removing pubic hair permanently, so there may not be a choice.

Here are some tips for you and other men who are in a similar situation.

5 Tips for Sharing Pubic Hair Preferences

1. Share It before You Get Naked

If your preference borders on fetish, you can share it in an online dating profile. Warning: this is going to turn a ton of women off, but if it’s a deal-breaker for you, you might as well be upfront about it.

Read: Female Grooming and Men’s Preferences

2. Speak on It when You Have Trust

Continue dating, and see what develops. What her pubic area looks like today might not be what it looks like next week or month. Some women have a favorite look, but a lot of us just love to change it up depending on our mood, what kind of look we’re going for.

When you go deeper into a connection, stuff like this usually comes up naturally when you talk about your preferences—it doesn’t come off as offensive when you know each other better.


3. Look at Your Own Bush

Before you go sharing what you like and don’t, acknowledge what kind of manscaping you do (if you do any at all!) Women have preferences for what they like on you too. Some of us like a good nest, while others love the leather-like feel of a freshly shorn ball bag. I always say, as long as it’s clean down there, the rest is all good.

Read: 4 Grooming Tips from a Natural Woman

4. Get Involved in Her Landscaping

If a woman is open to your suggestions or wants to indulge your pubic hair preference, then why not get involved? I had a boyfriend who would shave me clean on the bed, with a towel, soap, bowl of warm water, and a razer. It turned out to be one of the sexiest foreplay sessions imaginable.

Do your research and get some tips before you try this. You might role play a sexy barber, combing and trimming her bush!

5. Accept What You Can’t Change

A woman who likes the clean look, may try growing her hair down there for your amusement or a change of pace, but she may also revert back to what pleases her the most. If you didn’t know, women like to look good for themselves—this gives us confidence to strut our stuff. Dating and casual sex becomes oh so limiting when we stick to a type, whether that’s personality or looks—pubic hair included!

Read: The Secret to More Sex Is Not Having a Type

Loving couples often indulge their partner’s hair preferences on different parts of the body. Think of it as a bonus if this is the case, but never expect a woman to change what makes her the happiest.

In my experience, the men who REALLY LOVE pussy don’t care if she grows out her pubic hair or not!

Hookup Help is a Q&A series. If you want advice or a woman’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex, we want to hear from you. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookup Land newsletter.

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