You probably don’t have a penchant for reading vintage romance novels, but if you did, you’d know your penis has a wide range of corny euphemisms. “Member” may be the least sexy term ever used. “Hardness” is better, but barely. How about penis slang such as “driving need” or “love’s sweet arrow”?
Wretched as these may be, they could prove marginally better than some penis references in rap and rock lyrics! “Tube snake boogie” anyone? What about “squeeze my lemon til the juice runs down…”? If you’re Prince, it’s not a lemon, it’s “sugarcane.”
Whether it’s erotica, porn, the doctor’s office, or the locker room, humans have devised hundreds of imaginative ways to reference your man meat.
Different Slang Words for Penis
Most of us will probably agree that this is the go-to penis slang for proper dirty talk. Most men and women find this the word of choice. It’s short, to the point, and feels virile and hot. “Cock” seldom references a flaccid penis or a medical query—it’s more specific to the aroused animal.
This history is murky. “Coc” is French for rooster, that male bird that struts about as if he is himself an erection. This goes way back, at least a thousand years, and is more than likely the obvious origin and parallel of the slang.
But the word “cock” in the 18th and 19th century simply meant “male,” in the way we might use “chap” or “guy” and was used in names like Willcox or Hitchcock.
The context of our penis slang also derives from the action word “cock” which is nearly as old as the rooster. “To fight,” to “swagger,” or to prepare for the firing of the gun.
Whatever the history, we say: use it or lose it!
Dick is getting a little old fashioned, but in my opinion it’s still the best when referencing male genitalia casually, in a not-too sexual circumstance that is not a medical way either.
Dick is just short for “Richard” even though no one would use that nickname now because of this. However, there’s a long line of generic guy’s names that has been used to reference this appendage: Peter, Johnson, Willie, Thomas, and Roger, to name a few.
Be glad that you no longer have to spell it “prycke” and use the word “cunny” in parallel. “Prick” today is usually pejorative—a man we dismiss, rather than a genital we want to get with.
No one uses this 19th century euphemism these days, but it’s just one in a long line up of cutesy, dismissive penis names. It sounds funny but simply means “thing.” It’s where we got little boy favorites like “dink” and “dinky.” Also, “wee wee,” “winky,” “wingwang,” and “winkle.”
This penis slang is horrible and should only be used when joking around! It’s pretty simple, though—it’s the Yiddish word for “penis” and translates literally as “snake.”
Loud and proud, go for it if you’re writing poetry or describing the shape of something, but leave it out of the bedroom banter. Vagina slang exists too, and includes many words that are to be avoided if you want to get laid.
Goes back a century or two, and this term simply referred to the clapper that makes a ringing sound, as in “Ring my Bell.” Don’t ask me to ding your dong, though. Too many of these words make us laugh instead of getting us hot and bothered.
Invented by Lady Gaga in her lyrics, and I suppose this can substitute nicely if we also happen to be talking about glitter, silver pants, and Martian impregnating kinks.
Let’s hear it, readers: What do you refer to your penis as? Got some funny or interesting penis slang for us?