Why doesn’t she want to have sex with you?
It can be complicated reading other people. It may seem obvious that a woman with a profile on a casual dating or sex site is interested in, you know, having sex. Maybe some women who seemed genuinely interested in you, or expressed glowing attraction, ran cold on your first date. Maybe you’re tired of waiting for her to put out when you’re using hookup sites to access simple, no-strings sex.
What gives? There are a million reasons why a woman doesn’t want to have sex. Even sexually active or very horny women have times when sex just isn’t going to happen.
7 Reasons She Doesn’t Want Sex
1. She doesn’t like you.
Online messaging, pictures, and phone chats only tell us so much about another person. Meeting in person is the only way to know for sure if she likes you. Even if you are an Adonis, most women have to “like” you to some degree to want to be intimate. Harsh, but true. Try not to take it personally.
2. The chemistry is not there.
Similar to the above, but on a purely chemical level. She may like your personality and enjoy your company, but her body doesn’t respond to your pheromones or whatever other signals she’s getting at a cellular level.
3. She’s going through perimenopause or menopause.
For women, the times are constantly changing. And when her hormones are all over the map, she can be killer horny one day, and have zero interest the next. If it’s a partner, don’t avoid the subject but rather be open to her talking about her experience.
4. She’s on her period.
You can’t always predict when Aunt Flo will visit. We try to plan our dates around it. Even if you are cool with it, that doesn’t mean she is—she may not feel well, or it just feels too intimate and familiar for a casual lover.
5. She changed her mind.
She may have been dying to meet and fuck you yesterday, but cancels your plans today. Both men and women have the right to change their mind about sex at any time. It may be annoying or upsetting or disappointing, but who knows what is going through her mind?
Maybe she’s married. Maybe she had another lover call her up. Maybe she changed her mind about casual sex. Whatever the reason, it’s unfortunate, but you have to move on.
6. She has a low libido.
Even women with low sex drives will occasionally look for sex. You may have chatted on the high point, and then things went south for her in terms of wanting that kind of connection.
7. She doesn’t feel connected to you.
This is a very common reason why women don’t want sex. It isn’t what you usually encounter in terms of casual hookups, because it depends on her having felt previously connected. But maybe you have a long-term casual lover or a friend with benefits, and things are usually hot, but right now she’s not into it at all.
When an intimate connection is threatened in some way, or she feels distant or disillusioned, it can play itself out as a loss of desire.
Women: What reason would you add to this list, when you aren’t interested in sex?