There are many reasons a woman isn’t going to go down on you. If you don’t care about receiving blowjobs, it doesn’t matter, but most guys I’ve met just love it when a woman not only gives good head, but also enjoys herself while doing it.
I could easily flip through my rolodex of lovers to give you a long list of reasons (I’ll include some of mine), but I also scheduled a Zoom with my closest girlfriends to get a better sample of what keeps a lady from giving oral during a hookup.
Takes it from us gals, we know what we like, and don’t.
7 Reasons She’s NOT Going Down
1. She’s Angry
If you’re just meeting for a one night stand, this likely isn’t going to be the reason. She hasn’t known you long enough to get pissed off. But if you’ve been dating a while or this is a girlfriend, know that if you’re not getting oral, or anything for that matter, she might be angry about something else.
Don’t expect the good stuff until you work things out, whatever that might be.
Read: What NOT to Do while Getting a Blowjob
2. She Doesn’t Know You Well Enough
Some women have no problem with oral sex on a first date, but many of us see it as a very intimate act that requires either a certain level of trust or a deeper connection to engage in. She may feel the same way about receiving oral. You can always ask if you’re not sure.
3. Your Hygiene Is Lacking
Showering before a first date, where sex is either a possibility or a hopeful wish, is an absolute necessity. You don’t have to do it right before sex, as that’s kinda weird, but before you meet up is standard.
While making out, a woman who is thinking about giving oral will get close enough to know if it’s something she wants to get her mouth and nose close to, and change course if it’s not appealing.
Read: Blowjob Etiquette for Men
4. She’s Not Receiving Oral Sex from You
I’ve met a lot of men who want and enjoy oral, but only do it after they’ve gotten it, and without much enthusiasm or interest. If you only go down out of a sense of duty, she’s probably not going to bother again, that is if she even wants to hook up again. Practice your skills so her pleasure can be yours, and vice versa.
Read: Is It Ever Okay to Expect Non-Reciprocal Oral Sex?
5. She’s Inexperienced or Not Confident
Sex takes practice, and some of us have a lot more experience than others. Maybe she hasn’t given very many blowjobs and feels hesitant, or she has only been with one partner who criticized her when she went down.
We don’t always know someone’s sexual history, good or bad or ugly, to know why they don’t want to do something in bed. Good things often come to those who wait, and there are so many other things to explore in the meantime.
Read: 5 Ways to Get More Blowjobs
6. You’re Too Big
Bigger isn’t always better, no matter your fantasy to have a ten-inch dick. As a woman who has been with micro-sized to humongous cocks, I will always go for smaller when it comes to giving head, good head. A cock that fits perfectly in my mouth is usually smaller than average. Worrying about gagging really takes away from a woman’s focus and isn’t most gals’ idea of a good time, even if this is a fetish for you.
7. It’s Not Her Jam
Just like the men I mentioned who didn’t care much for cunnilingus, so too are there women who just don’t give a toss about giving a blowjob. They’ve tried it, and it just turns them off.
Maybe some of these women are on the pathway to realizing men aren’t their jam. Some women find the penis a beautiful specimen, but to others it’s not an attractive appendage. Not to worry if this is a deal breaker for you—plenty of women love cock, and love sucking them.
Still unsure what’s going on with your partner’s disinterest in going down? See Jamie’s article: 6 Reasons She Doesn’t Want to Suck Your Cock.
Can you live with no oral sex in a relationship? How important is it to you?
Tell us what you think