14 Things to Use Instead of a Dildo

It happens all the time—a horny woman improvises and uses something as a dildo, or makes a dildo.

What kind of things could you use instead of a dildo? What handy objects can work instead of a dildo when a dildo is not available?

Long before the invention of modern sex toys, creative humans used their imagination to fashion things to use instead of, or as a dildo.

What Can You Use As a Dildo?

To use an object as a dildo, there are a few basic requirements. It needs to be shaped like a cock, for starters.

It is not necessary aesthetically that an object we use instead of a dildo resemble a human penis. Lesbian lovers may prefer another visual and some cock lovers don’t want an artificial penis that looks veiny or mimics human skin.

Plastic and colorful dildos, glass dildos with bumps, and animal-shaped or neutral-shaped dildos are all functional and sometimes preferred. But the shape has to be some kind of shaft in order to penetrate the vagina or whatever orifice needs fucking.

Whatever kinds of things we use as a dildo, it has to be firm enough to hold up to penetration.

It has to be free of jagged edges or sharp edges so that we don’t tear the delicate skin of the vagina.

It also has to be something that can be cleaned, before and after use.

Read: How to Make Her Come with Oral Sex and a Dildo

Household Items to Use as a Dildo

There are many household objects you can use as a dildo. You just need a bit of creativity.

  1. Ladle or spatula handles
  2. Travel case for toothbrush
  3. Hairbrush or paintbrush handles
  4. Plastic shampoo bottles if they are round
  5. Handle of hardware items like a hammer or screwdriver
  6. Sports equipment handles
  7. Makeup brush handle

Read: How to Make a Woman Squirt in 10 Steps

Foods to Use as a Dildo

Food items are the best option for everyday objects that can be used instead of a dildo. There are many foods that are perfectly shaped, and they come in a variety of sizes, both length and width.

Make sure you wash food carefully so that no handling germs, pesticides, or even just natural plant chemicals interfere with the delicate microbiome of our bodies. Better yet, let your veggies wear a condom before you use them as a dildo!

8. Carrots

Carrots are probably the perfect vegetable to use as a dildo. They come in a variety of lengths and girths. They are nice and hard and make for easy penetration.

9. Cucumbers

Cucumbers also come in a variety of sizes, and that nice curve comes in handy for G-Spot stimulation.

Read: G-Spot Tips For Better Orgasms

Cucumbers work well instead of dildos but they aren’t always hard enough to last. Choose a firm cucumber, or use a condom, in which case it won’t be a big deal if it breaks. Depending on the type of cucumber, you may want to peel it first.

10. Zucchini

A nice plump thick zucchini can double nicely as a dildo. Some zucchini get to be the size of baseball bats, so don’t bring one of those from Grandma’s garden, expecting her to be interested.

11. Corn Cob

A nice corn stalk makes a hard, thick cock substitute. You can use corn on the cob instead of a dildo, but make sure the corn wears a condom. You don’t want to leave any kernels inside!

12. Bananas

A banana can work instead of a dildo. It would have to be on the green side. The curve can be fun. It’s not totally ideal, because the rough pointy end at the top can be too raw. You can cut that off, then use a condom. It’s functional if there’s nothing else to use as a dildo.

13. Meat

Frozen hotdogs or sausages, and deli salamis that are hard enough.

Skip the risks of raw meat, and watch out for spices in bratwurst and salami!

14. Root vegetables, radishes, stalk vegetables.

Any firm phallic stalk vegetable or fruit is an option for using instead of a dildo. Even something like asparagus, which is too flimsy and thin on its own, can work in a small bunch wrapped in a condom. Celery might have too many edges, but it might do in a pinch.

There are also many kinds of potatoes, peppers, and root veggies that are phallic shaped. Just be cautious as some radishes and peppers are hot and thus damage tissues.

Read: Kinky Ways to Use a Dildo

Homemade Dildo Safety Tips

Common sense is key when improvising with objects to use instead of a dildo.

  • Wash everything carefully.
  • Put a condom on any object you use as a dildo.
  • Don’t use glass. Glass dildos are a special kind of glass that doesn’t break or shatter.
  • Don’t use the open end of bottles, plastic or glass—they can create dangerous suction.
  • Don’t use anything that can break off.
  • Watch for jagged edges, tears, sharp edges, etc.
  • Proceed with caution when inserting and thrusting. See how it feels and how easily it slides before going full throttle.
  • Be wary of chemicals. Artificial as well as naturally occurring chemicals can burn, sting, and hurt. It can cause an allergic reaction. It can be a mild concern or a very dangerous one. This goes for cosmetics, perfumes, cleaning products, shampoos, as well as food ingredients and naturally occurring nutrients. Even things that are good for you aren’t made for the vagina!

Read: Tips for Better Sex with Your Partner

What is your go-to non-dildo dildo?

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