How glorious are the first few weeks of a new relationship? The sex is amazing, you can’t keep your hands off each other and you just know it’s going to stay that way forever. Fast forward a few years (or sometimes only a few months) and things have likely changed a bit. Maybe you’re feeling bored and restricted. Maybe you’ve gotten to know a little too much about your partner’s annoying habits, and you wish that you could return to those halcyon days of crazy infatuation. At this point, your thoughts might turn to adultery, but for those of you who are determined to stick things out and rediscover the magic with your current partner, here are a few suggestions for where to begin.
Start a Conversation
If you’re unhappy with how things are playing out in your relationship but you choose to stay quiet about it, you’re basically saying that you just don’t care enough anymore, or that you don’t trust your partner with your feelings. Opening up about your concerns and your needs gives your partner a chance to do the same, and the two of you can at least begin to address your issues. It’s hard to have regular sex with someone you secretly resent or feel distanced from. If you’re feeling helpless in the face of your misery, the best thing you can do is take action by talking about it. What have you got to lose?
Spend Quality Time Outside the Bedroom
Think back to some of the activities you and your partner used to enjoy, before things got so stale. What things (aside from sex) made you bond as a couple in the first place? Maybe your new relationship felt so amazing in part because you were constantly discovering new things about each other. You can keep that feeling alive by revisiting your favourite activities while at the same time continuing to form new memories together. Try making a list of all the things you want to see and do as a couple and make a point of checking those things off one by one.
Explore New Sexual Territory
If you think that your relationship is still in good shape and that you really just need a spark to ignite things in the bedroom, you might consider trying a new toy, or fantasy play. Talk about it a little bit to decide what the two of you are into. Maybe you’ve always wanted to engage in a threesome, or explore a particular kink? As long as your decisions are mutual, try out whatever you want! Great sex thrives on variety.
Remind Yourselves of Why You’re Together
There must be a reason that you’re wanting to put such an effort into maintaining your relationship. What specifically do you love about your partner? Remind yourself of those things, then share them! Tell your girlfriend she’s still the one you would choose if you had to do it over. If you can’t be sure of that and you really want to move on, it’s best to be honest about that, too. Better sex can really only happen if both people are invested in the cause.
Also read: Can Sex Save Your Relationship?