Just the Tips

How to Hook Up with Older Women

mature woman dating

So, you want to hook up with an older woman? I don’t blame you. Women over forty are hot as hell. They know what they want and what they don’t want, and are less likely to beat around the bush.

One thing to consider when trying to attract an older woman is that she is wiser and more discerning than her younger counterparts. She won’t fall for any pick-up artist trickery, so if that’s your standard go-to approach, it’s time for a change.

Here are some suggestions for how to make yourself more worthy of a cougar’s time and attention.

Haven’t met your older hookup yet? Be sure to check out our list of the best older woman dating sites for hookups.

4 Tips for Hookups with Older Women

1. Have Your Shit Together

Show her you don’t need taking care of. Have a job and enough emotional wherewithal to handle minor disappointments and sexual rejection. Don’t burden her with a full inventory of your past hurts, or make excuses for your bad behavior.

Come to the table a mature, confident man who understands that she has a life outside of your relationship and that she doesn’t have the time—or the desire—to be your surrogate mommy.

2. Present Her with Something of Substance

If you’re using an hookup dating site, fill out your profile completely. Give her an idea of what to expect when meeting you. Because she’s older and has probably spent most of her dating life face to face, she’ll need more than a bathroom selfie and the question of “’Sup?” to sway her in the direction of writing back.

In terms of a first date, plan something nice and come prepared with a mental list of nonsexual things to discuss. Even if you’re meeting for purely physical reasons, keep it classy.

3. Avoid Negging

Negging is a horrible strategy in general, especially so when you’re trying to impress an older woman. At some point in her 30s or early 40s, a shift occurred that made teasing insults—the hallmark of negging—completely inappropriate and potentially rage inducing.

She’s found her power, lost all patience for bullshit, and has run out of fucks to give. She doesn’t need your approval, so negging is a useless effort. Focus instead on showing her the respect that she deserves.

4. Celebrate Her Body

If you are lucky enough to make it past dinner and into the bedroom, make it worth her while. Spend plenty of time on foreplay with your older hookup, and be open to guidance. She knows her body well and doesn’t care about looking, or sounding like a porn star, especially for your benefit.

She’s probably had her fair share of selfish lovers over the years and will have no interest in giving non-reciprocal oral, or posing as your living, breathing fleshlight for the evening. In short, treat her like the goddess she is.

Do you have any tried and true tips for picking up older women? Leave a comment!

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