We’re living in a time when human connection isn’t always possible, even with family and loved ones. And those of you who are single and lonely know all too well how hard it is to date in the best of times.
Online dating is a wonderful way to meet potential lovers and partners, but I do know that this avenue isn’t for everyone and you have to do it in your own time.
For those of you who are still old school and prefer to meet others for hookups and relationships in person, there are many places outside of the internet to do just that. But there are some parameters to work within, that women will appreciate. Let me explain.
6 Dos and Don’ts of Flirting in Public
DO look around and be present in the moment.
I’m a full-blown daydreamer, so when I’m out in public I don’t always recognize what’s actually going on in my surroundings. If you’re the same, you’ll have to make a conscious effort to see what’s in front of you or you may miss a lot of nonverbal cues, for example, the woman giving you the flirty eye at the farmer’s market.
Know that you don’t always have to make the first move when flirting in public. A lot of women aren’t shy and are going to initiate some kind of dialogue or invite you to do so through their body language.
DON’T initiate anything through physical touch.
I don’t just mean touchy or feely, but any kind of touch, even a tap on the shoulder. No woman wants to be touched by a stranger in public. It’s game over before you begin.
Any initiation should be done by something nonverbal like eye contact or a smile or a shrug of the shoulders in a moment of understanding. From there you can begin a conversation.
DO take a chance when you see it.
When you share a knowing smile or laugh with a woman you find attractive, take the opportunity to start a dialogue. You don’t have to know where it’s going to make that leap of faith.
Do most conversations with strangers in public lead to romantic dates or late-night hookups? No, they don’t. But knowing that some can and do is worth rolling the dice in my books.
DON’T have high expectations.
There’s a reason why I give props to online dating above all other ways to meet women and men for hookups and beyond—there’s a vast pool of members, you can take your time in the comfort of your own home, and you can curtail a profile to weed out those who aren’t good matches before you meet.
When you’re just out flirting around the town, you have to keep your expectations low, to reflect the reality.
DO keep the conversation going.
There is an art to flirting in public, and most of that boils down to confidence and charm, so it’s not as easy for some of us to be sure. But if you do make that all important first contact, whether it’s you or she who initiates it, it’s essential to keep that dialogue moving.
The easiest way to keep things going is to ask an open-ended question, one that doesn’t require a yes or no answer. Asking questions shows that you’re interested in what she has to say. Sharing a common connection that you recognize is another way to “build a bridge” between you. Compliments are okay too, and are more accepting when they touch on an ability rather than her appearance.
DON’T push it when she has nowhere to go.
Flirting with a woman public, who is somewhere she can’t walk away from for whatever reason (train stop, her workplace, in line at the bank) is not okay.
A simple feeler flirt like “Hi” or a statement on what’s going on around you, like “I can’t believe it’s going to be twenty minutes late” at the bus stop is acceptable. But if she doesn’t respond or you get the brush-off, then turn away and mind your own business.
When you continue to try to engage, and she’s not in a position to walk away, that’s called harassment. Trust your intuition and know the signals of disinterest.
Do you flirt with women in public? What flirting tips would you add?