The vast majority of masturbation is healthy, sane, necessary, fun, and good for you!
So whether you frantically beat your meat four times a day to deal with an insane libido, or give yourself a helping hand twice a week, you are probably “normal,” whatever that is.
The rest of this post is for the tiny percentage of guys who might have some kind of issue. If you are concerned about jerking off too much, here are a few questions to consider.
How to Know if You’re Masturbating too Much
Are you causing harm to your body?
If you’re hurting yourself, maybe rubbing your shaft raw, or sticking glass bottles up your butt, or any other dangerous, risky thing like autoerotic asphyxiation or mutilation, then yes, you should stop. You should talk to someone.
Learn about safe ways to play out kinks, including with a partner.
Are you neglecting relationships or partner sex?
It’s healthy to fly solo by choice, but if there is an underlying psychological fear of attachment or actual sex, and you’re masturbating to avoid contact, it wouldn’t hurt to address those fears or anxieties.
Are you unable to perform with partners?
Do you jerk off so much that you can’t get it up or keep it up when your lover comes over? Are you so used to porn that a naked woman doesn’t do it for you?
In these rare cases, you might ask how much is too much.
If masturbation is something you seem to prefer over sex with your partner, consider adding mutual masterbation into your sexual routine.
Are you experiencing unhealthy guilt or shame?
If you are feeling deep-rooted shame about your masturbation or sex in general, you might want to examine why and work with a counsellor to overcome that shame, rather than avoiding sex or masturbation.
Are you depressed, anxious, or avoidant?
Masturbation, like sex, alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, or any potentially compulsive pleasure can be an escape route from depression or mental health issues.
Jerking off in and of itself is healthy, but if you’re masturbating too much to avoid facing reality, illness or trauma, it might be time to talk to somebody.
Do you masturbate at inappropriate times or settings?
Obviously if you whip it out in the middle of the subway or during dinner with mother at the long-term care home, there might be a bigger issue going on.
Are you a danger to yourself or others?
We all have a few dark fantasies or taboo go-to sex scenes, and playing them out in our minds or with a partner is actually a super healthy way to sublimate complicated desires.
But if you are consumed with violence, rage, or murderous fantasies, or by thoughts about children or torture, you
need to seek help.
A kink practice with a partner can be a healthy way to process traumas of childhood abuse or war, rather than living with it alone. But a therapist can help you sort that out and keep you from becoming overwhelmed and acting out the really dark shit in the real world.
Are you exhausted and depleted?
It is healthy to ejaculate regularly—it keeps your pipes in working order and balances hormones. But some sex practices like tantra acknowledge the value of restraint, slowing down, or having fewer orgasms in order to increase intimacy, intensity, and personal energy.
It can be exhausting to have too many orgasms! If this is a concern, learn about orgasm without ejaculation, about orgasm denial, tantra, orgasm edging, or just skip a day now and again.
Have you had periods when you were masturbating too much? Please share in the comments.