When I fantasize about sex, I rarely focus on the intercourse part of it. Sure, it can be a transcendent thing to be fucked with abandon and while I thank all that is good in this world for the gift that is a man’s cock, I have to say that it serves more of a supportive role in turning me on. The most satisfying sex comes with an abundance of foreplay. It’s so crucial to my enjoyment, primarily because it makes me feel desired and respected, and because it shows me that my partner really cares about my experience. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Just be thoughtful, take your time and keep the following suggestions in mind.
Build It Up Slowly
Remember that your ultimate goal in foreplay is to seduce your partner. You want to feel that every kiss and touch you give her is met with desire. If you jump into things too quickly, you might detect a slight degree of surprise or even discomfort on her part. You don’t want to see a look of dismay on her face when you pull out your cock and proceed to enter her. She might be thinking, “What? That’s it?!” Chances are she won’t even say anything to you about it because nobody wants to have to ask for more foreplay. How awkward is it to feel in need of something your partner might not be willing to provide? It’s best to pay attention to your partner’s body and wait until she’s ready for sex. She might tell you she’s ready, or she might simply reach for you.
Savor the Moment
I’ve had partners in the past who seemed to think of my body as some kind of machine designed to give them pleasure. They would dutifully press all the buttons until my vagina opened up to them, and it was obvious to me that they would have preferred a simpler path to getting themselves off. This approach is sadly disappointing. It really just suggests that your hand is tired and that you’ve discovered a new way of jacking off and that it just so happens to involve a woman. It’s important to feel that you’re truly enjoying yourself in the moment. If you find that you’re simply putting in time before the big event, you might want to think about spending some time outside the bedroom, reconnecting with your partner and/or yourself.
Mix It Up a Bit
While it’s good to know your partner’s turn-ons and to cater to them, it’s also good to think of new ways to give her pleasure. Ideally this involves a discussion in which the two of you share your fantasies. If you’re in a well established relationship you might try to promote a more casual atmosphere of open communication where the two of you can talk about your desires without fear of offending each other. This involves a certain degree of trust and a willingness to take in suggestions. The point is that you want to keep things fresh. It can be easy to fall into a routine with foreplay, and this could keep you from feeling connected to your partner and thus unable to savor the moment.
I always find it really hot when it’s clear to me that my partner knows exactly what to do to please me, but takes his time with it and teases me a little. Maybe he comes tantalizingly close to doing that thing that drives me crazy, but stops at the last moment, only to do it seconds later when I’m not expecting it. Maybe he starts to do one thing and ends with something that’s even hotter. The key to creating anticipation is to do it sparingly. If you tease her too much, it will stop being a surprise and start becoming an annoyance. You want her feel desire, not frustration. Part of that is following through with what you start. Pay attention and be sure to ultimately give her what she needs. Don’t just start a bunch of things, and then lose your focus. That’s almost more disappointing than no foreplay at all.
What foreplay tips can you share? Let us know in the comments below!