So, you want to date an older woman? I don’t blame you. Women over forty are hot as hell.
The mystique of the older woman has been around a long time, showing up in myths and movies and the fantasies of both men and women! And there are some good reasons you feel the way you do about Mrs. Robinson.
In this quick guide to older women dating we’ll look at the benefits of dating older women, what they’re looking for, and some dating tips for best results. I’ll also point you to a few places to meet older women.
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Dating Older Women: What It’s Like
Curious about what it’s like to date an older woman? Here are a few things to know about older women dating, and why it’s so hot!
Older Women Love Sex
One of my friends, Lauren, 44, says, “I don’t know what happened, but I love it. My sexuality now is different. It’s not tied to emotional factors or being part of a social circle or status. It’s just about sex! And more sex! I’m hooking up more than ever before. I don’t want someone to call me back or love me. I just want to be fucked hard.”
Young women are discovering their sexuality. Older woman don’t need anyone’s approval, and their actions are about doing what they want and pleasing themselves.
She’s not waiting for permission from society over what to wear, what to do, how to act.
Older Women are Ready and Willing
My older girlfriends also tell me it’s different now. The engine doesn’t require the same kind of warm up. Karen, 50, says, “I can come in two minutes, and I can come again just as fast. I was never like that. Sometimes it took half an hour of playing with my clit!”
To some extent, the stereotype of the cougar or the older woman and the “zipless fuck” might derive from this strange fact.
Danielle, who’s in her late 30s says, “I don’t know why it is, but I LOVE quickies now and I love getting right to business without always going through the preliminaries.”
Her theory is that in youth, our female hormones like estrogen work hard to get us into bed and knocked up! Once they start to lower, the testosterone has a chance to take centre stage. “I used to love snuggling for hours, but now all I want is the sex. And I come so easily now.”
Older Women Dating Younger Men is Still Taboo
When an older man has a 22-year-old piece of candy hanging on his arm wherever he goes, we barely raise an eyebrow. But tongues wag if the players are reversed.
Just the suggestion of an older woman dating a younger man is enough to get the tabloids into a tizzy. Remember when Madonna celebrated her divorce to Guy Ritchie by hooking up with a Brazilian porn star named Jesus?
Jesus, that was hot!
And recently I learned that the artist Georgia O’Keeffe had an affair with a man 58 years younger when she was in her twilight years. Kinda made me want to live forever.
How to Impress Older Women
Do you want to try older women dating, but are unsure of what they want in a younger guy? Worried you won’t measure up to their expectations?
As someone who has had her share of mature hookups with younger men, I will share with you what has impressed me, and why some of those men became more than a one night stand.
Many older gals like myself find men our own age to have become boring old couch potatoes who are happy to just watch Netflix every night. I love a younger man who is spontaneous and who wants to surprise me with creative dates and active excursions.
Men over fifty and some over forty struggle with staying hard and lasting as long as they did when they were younger. This can be tiresome for older women who are in their sexual prime. Show her how long you can go, and if you struggle with this, then get practicing with girls your own age before you date an older women.
You don’t have to have a six pack, but what can impress an older woman is a man who is healthy and stays in shape. This can really come in handy when you want to pick up a woman and carry her to the bedroom before throwing her on the bed. And it certainly doesn’t hurt when she needs a favor that requires heavy lifting.
It’s not about being an intellectual as much as it is about being passionate about something. Many older women will find a curious mind an attractive one.
When dating an older woman, if you can stimulate and/or challenge her mentally, she will want to stick around.
Be Open Minded.
This especially applies to the bedroom. She’s not going to expect you to be as sexually experienced or be able to find her G-spot necessarily, but she’ll hope that you are open to trying new things like role playing, spanking, or bondage.
As women age, they become more comfortable with their bodies while exploring their inner desires which can include kinks and fetishes.
Older Women Dating Tips
One thing to consider when trying to attract and date a woman over forty is that she is wiser and more discerning than her younger counterparts. She won’t fall for any pick-up artist trickery, so if that’s your standard go-to approach, it’s time for a change.
Here are some suggestions for how to make yourself more worthy of an older woman’s time and attention.
1. Have Your Shit Together
Show an older woman that you don’t need taking care of. Have a job and enough emotional wherewithal to handle minor disappointments and sexual rejection. Don’t burden her with a full inventory of your past hurts, or make excuses for your bad behavior.
Come to the table a mature, confident man who understands that she has a life outside of your relationship and that she doesn’t have the time—or the desire—to be your surrogate mommy.
2. Present Her with Something of Substance
If you’re using an older woman dating site, fill out your profile completely. Give her an idea of what to expect when meeting you. Because she’s older and has probably spent most of her dating life face to face, she’ll need more than a bathroom selfie and the question of “’Sup?” to sway her in the direction of writing back.
In terms of a first date, plan something nice and come prepared with a mental list of nonsexual things to discuss. Even if you’re meeting for purely physical reasons, keep it classy.
3. Avoid Negging Older Women
Negging is a horrible strategy in general, especially so when you’re trying to impress an older woman. At some point in her 30s or early 40s, a shift occurred that made teasing insults—the hallmark of negging—completely inappropriate and potentially rage inducing.
She’s found her power, lost all patience for bullshit, and has run out of fucks to give. She doesn’t need your approval, so negging is a useless effort. Focus instead on showing her the respect that she deserves.
4. Celebrate Her Body
If you are lucky enough to make it past dinner and into the bedroom, make it worth her while. Spend plenty of time on foreplay with your older hookup, and be open to guidance. She knows her body well and doesn’t care about looking, or sounding like a porn star, especially for your benefit.
She’s probably had her fair share of selfish lovers over the years and will have no interest in giving non-reciprocal oral, or posing as your living, breathing fleshlight for the evening. In short, treat her like the goddess she is.
Older Women Dating Sites
If you’re not already dating one, you may be wondering where to meet older women looking for sex.
If you’re looking online, then you could try any popular dating app like Tinder. You simply need to filter your results to the age bracket you’re seeking.
Another option is dating sites for older women specifically. Many of these skew very naughty, and some like OlderHookups.com even allow nudity.
We’re already written an article specifically about older women dating sites, which I recommend if you’d like to see more options for older women dating.
Read Lola’s breakdown of the best older women dating sites and how to get the most out of them:
Why Older Women Dating Sites Work
The reason older women are attracted to a younger guy’s profile is because most cougars seek younger men for relationships that are non-committal, at least in the beginning. Many of them are coming out of longer relationships, even marriage, and want to have a little fun.
Many also find men their age to be unable to keep up with their youthful energy, as most cougars take care of their bodies.
I have many guy friends who join older women dating sites like OlderHookups.com to meet women because they say it’s easier than going to a bar. I say go for it!
You’ll quickly see the benefits of dating older women. These include
- A confidence that age has rewarded them with, independence, and life experience (which definitely includes sex!)
- They know what they like in the bedroom because they’ve been around long enough to try most things.
- Older women usually aren’t shy about voicing their needs and desires, as well as teaching a younger man a few new tricks.
- It can be a relief to be with a woman who doesn’t need to turn the light off or expect you to take the sexual lead.
If you want to attract even more older women to your profile, be sure to open the age gap in your search settings.
What do you like most about dating older women?