How to Meet Transgender Women

Many men are looking to meet transgender women for casual sex and/or dating relationships. We hear it in the comments and through our Hookup Help column.

“I find transgender women super hot and am really attracted to fictional TV characters and trans porn, but I’ve never met a transgender woman in real life. How can I meet transgender women? Do trans women date regular guys?”

“I had a wild affair with a trans woman when I was living in Europe years ago. It was epic. As trans people are finally becoming visible in terms of rights and recognition, I think about her and am glad the world is moving forward. I was surprised more recently when a trans woman messaged me for a date. We didn’t have much in common although I was somewhat attracted, she wasn’t. But it made me wonder why I haven’t been dating trans women since France.”

“I think I am transamorous or a transgender admirer. Even before I really knew what that meant or knew any trans women, I felt this attraction. I realized lately that it’s nothing to hide and nothing wrong, and there’s no reason I shouldn’t date transgender women. But I don’t know any. Where can I meet transgender women?”

Thanks to all these guys and many more for sharing!

Read: 5 Reasons to Date a Transgender Woman

The standard response to “Where can I meet trans women?” is “transgender women are anywhere there are women.” And that’s true. Yes, transgender women are everywhere. Yes, the woman at the deli that you fancy might be trans, unknown to you. Trans women are anywhere you are.

But on the other hand, there aren’t that many transgender women in any given community. And you can’t always tell if she’s trans, and you can’t just go up and ask! And just because you know a transgender woman doesn’t mean you’ll be attracted to her or vice versa, so you’d like to meet different people to see where things go.

6 Ways to Meet Trans Women

If you want to meet transgender women for sex hookups, dating, or love, here are some ideas.

1. Make more friends.

The key to meeting more people is meeting more people! To increase the odds of meeting interesting people that you might enjoy dating, broaden your horizons in general. Friends have friends. We tend to get into a rut and routine— you have friends from work and friends of the family and friends from whatever your hobby is.

To meet new people, you have to do new things. Sign up for some different workshops or sports or pub night trivia.

While this is the most organic way to meet new transgender friends and lovers, and has the appeal of being natural and leading to authentic and interesting connections, it can be the long way around. There’s no guarantee that anyone will be transgender, although growing your circle and your interests makes you a more appealing person and gets you into contact with more people, trans or not.

Read: How to Flirt with Women in Public

2. Look for trans-inclusive activities and institutions.

You can tailor your social expansion to activities and events that are trans inclusive. While trans women may be everywhere, they may be more comfortable at a trans friendly event. For example, a cooking class could be the right way to meet a sexy and spicy trans hookup. But she is more likely to feel comfortable attending that workshop if it is known to be a safe space for trans women.

Check your libraries and community centers and LGBTQ organizations for affirming events and institutions.

3. Join transgender dating sites.

You can use specific dating sites that cater to transamory or where trans women have listings about what kind of guy they’re looking to meet. Depending on your area, there could be lots of opportunities there.

Read: Best Trans Dating Sites

meet transgender women
Meeting Local Trans Women

4. Express your interests in your online dating profiles.

Let women know that are interested in dating a trans woman, so that she doesn’t have to guess.

If you are looking for hookups with women, including transgender women, say so. Don’t elaborate or play the hero. Just say something like “cis and trans” or that you haven’t dated trans women but would like to, or that you have dated trans women in the past. Others state their preferences, too, for BBW or redheads or kink-friendly women, so whatever the case may be, let her know you’re looking for her.

Read: How to Find Transgender Hookups

4. Put the word out, and ask around.

Don’t hesitate to let your peers know that you find trans women attractive and are open to dating. Let trusted friends know you. Friends who have friends looking for romance or sex might be able to help you meet more women.

Don’t blab around inappropriately at the office about wanting hot trans hookups—unless you work at a porn film factory, maybe. But if you’ve been shy or reticent about your tastes and no one knows about them, you could be missing out on opportunities.

6. Hire a sex worker.

Even the most open-minded people can find this suggestion controversial. But it’s an option for some who want to meet transgender women for sex.

Some guys think they’re “above” hiring a sex worker. Others don’t want to exploit women. It’s a very personal decision but a viable option to consider.

Read: Sex with Transgender Women: What to Know

Hookup Help is a Q&A series. If you want advice or a woman’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex, we want to hear from you. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookup Land newsletter.

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