First of all, the only way to really discover what your lady thinks about when you’re giving her the ole pork sausage is to ask her! The trouble is, it’s such a hard topic to broach. That’s why I’ve kindly decided to offer you my insights into the matter.
I’m not psychic or anything, but I do have a vagina and I have had sex a few times, so I’m totally qualified to write this post.
If the Sex Is Good
1. OMG! This feels so amazing…
Honestly, if the sex is really good, that’s probably all she’s thinking about. (Although “thinking” might be the wrong term to use here as her brain is probably completely blissed out). You’ll be able to tell if she’s fully in the moment because her body will respond to yours instantly and you’ll both feel the heat.
2. I feel so sexy…
If you’re enthusiastically expressing an appreciation for your partner’s body, it will be hard for her not to feel desirable. Of course, some women won’t see themselves as sexy no matter what you say or do, while others know they’re sexy all the time!
The least you can do is refrain from being critical of her. Neg Theory has no place in the bedroom, guys. (Unless of course kinky humiliation role-play is her thing.)
3. I think I’m in love…
Calm down now… she might not be in love with you per se. She might just be in love with your cock, but if the sex is truly fantastic, she’s probably going to feel something akin to the L-word by the end of it. Who knows? You might, too! Don’t be freaked out by that.
Even if you’re only in it for a one night stand, sex should make you feel something. You might both choose not to take things any further than one night of passion, but that shouldn’t keep you from savoring the powerful things that you felt in the moment.
If the Sex is Bad
1. Is he ever going to make me cum?
If the sex really blows, your lady will probably feel a bit frustrated as you flounder around searching for her g-spot, or treat her clit and nipples like the buttons on your gaming console.
The solution? Be open to feedback and suggestions in the moment! Set up an open line of communication so that you and your lady can talk about what you like and don’t like. How else can you be expected to learn?
2. Is he even enjoying this? When will he finish?
If the sex is bad for you, then chances are it’s bad for her too. Have you ever been pumping away when suddenly your dick turns kinda soft? Naturally you keep going, but it’s bending a little every time you thrust it in, and your heart’s just not in it?
Don’t be a hero. Pull that shit out and call it a night. You don’t have to maintain the charade for us. We know what a soft dick feels like. We don’t need your bendy wiener in our bun if it means you’re forcing yourself to put it in there.
3. I wonder what we’ll have for dinner?
Because eating is way more exciting than this godforsaken monstrosity of a sexual act. That’s maybe a little harsh, but you get the point. I personally know when the sex is bad because I find myself thinking of all sorts of unrelated things.
If your partner jumps up immediately after you’re done and exclaims that she wants to order a pizza, that’s a pretty big tip-off that the sex wasn’t great.