As with most technological advances, online dating is both a blessing and a curse. These days it’s the most popular way to meet new people, but do the benefits outweigh the costs?
If you’re new to the whole online dating scene, you might wonder what to expect. Read on to discover the best and worst things about putting yourself out there on the internet.
Best: Meeting People You Wouldn’t Normally Meet
The biggest advantage to online dating is the access you gain to hundreds of profiles, which is particularly useful if you live in a small town, and you’ve already dated like 70% of the population.
Meeting so many different people gives you a chance to explore new sides of yourself. Maybe you’re into hard-core bondage but you didn’t know it until you met your super hot dom online?
Worst: Encountering New Kinds of Crazy
Of course, making yourself available to tons of people means that you’re also exposing yourself to all kinds of wackadoos. The best way to minimize this risk is to read her profile carefully.
Lots of guys let the profile picture determine if they will send a message, but her picture won’t tell you that she wants to use your sperm to start a whole new race of super humans, or that she keeps a jar of her ex’s beard trimmings in her nightstand drawer.
Best: A Chance to Build Your Confidence
Online dating can be really empowering. It can give you a chance to flex your flirting muscles as much or as little as you wish, and you can do it all at your own pace. This can be especially beneficial if you’re getting back in the game after a nasty breakup or a failed long-term relationship.
Putting yourself out there and getting even a modest response can do wonders for your self-esteem.
Worst: Rejection en Mass
On the flip side, putting yourself out there on such a grand scale means making yourself vulnerable to rejection. It’s important to develop a casual attitude about things. Try not to take it so personally if a lady you’ve messaged doesn’t reply.
Remember that there are many reasons that she might not be getting back to you. Sure, she could have viewed your profile and thought, “God no!” But maybe she’s really just a bit ambivalent about the whole online dating thing, or she just went online for fun and doesn’t really want it to turn into anything.
Best: Time to Think about What You’re Going to Say
Unlike conversing in a club or at a bar, where any little slip-up will be noticed and possibly used against you, online messaging allows you to really think about what you want to say, and then to say it well. This is where grammar and spelling really count, but thankfully there are apps on the market to help you with this, if you need it.
The other advantage of messaging is that you can re-read what she has sent you, allowing for a more thorough and accurate response.
Worst: Lack of Conversational Momentum
The downside is that with all this thoroughness comes delay. Sometimes the conversation is put on pause for hours, or even days, making it hard to establish a rhythm and momentum. Yes, in-person conversation can lag as well, but at least when you’re face to face, you can rely on her subtle body language to tell you what she’s thinking.
Sometimes with messaging, all you’re left with is the knowledge that she’s read what you’ve sent, and the fact that she hasn’t responded can be crazy making. Good times.