Getting Out of an Online Dating Rut

Are you in an online dating rut? This can happen after years of meeting women through dating sites. You may feel the slump after only a few months. It happens to all of us. What matters is that you dig yourself out with your mojo intact.

How to Revitalize your Dating Life

Join New Sites
Some of you put all your stock into one site when you first ventured into the world of online dating. It’s okay, but you’ll soon feel like you’re seeing the same old people showing up in your search – that’s because you are! It’s time to branch out. Ask friends to recommend other sites, or join one that is more specific to your interests (e.g. older women). This doesn’t mean you have to close your current account – keep it alive because new members join all the time.

Revise Your Profile
How long have you had your profile? When you first joined the site, you probably changed it five times before you thought it was a good representation of yourself. Well . . . it’s worth having another look, especially if you’ve been on more than a year. We change and grow, hopefully! Are your interests the same? Is what you’re looking for the same? Has your job changed? A different profile will attract different people.

Update Your Photos
Similar to your profile, you need to change your photos every once in awhile. This is important if you’ve altered in appearance – lost or gained weight, changed facial hair, new tattoos, piercings, etc. A variety – four or five – pictures is best. And use at least two close-ups. If I can’t see what a person looks like, I don’t bother. Other pictures can include you experiencing a passion (not sex) or visiting a favorite place. (Note: using all travel pics to show how worldly you are comes across as egotistical.)

Lighten Up
Do you feel like giving up? Or that you’ve been on a million dates with nothing to show for it? It’s time to loosen and lighten up. Maybe your expectations are too high. It’s time to put fun first! The next date you go on, make fun the priority. Look for a girl you share a common interest in and engage in that activity on your date. If nothing serious comes out of the date, you’re still likely to have a good time.

Open Up
Sometimes we get too particular in who we’re looking for – what we think we want. This narrows your search results and can make finding people a whole lot harder. How many times have you been surprised at your attraction to a certain person, someone you thought you’d never have sex with or even consider dating? Appearance doesn’t always match personality. Go back through your incoming messages and read them with a fresh eye.

Expand the Age Gap
I see a lot of men looking in a very short age range of women – usually on the young side. If you’re willing to date someone half your age then at least be willing to meet a woman ten years older. Limiting yourself to the young ones excludes women who you might have a lot more in common with and who probably have more experience between the sheets.

Keep Busy
Dating isn’t everything. Stay actively engaged in activities that have nothing to do with dating, or try something new. Romantic relationships are only one part of our lives, and if you can’t be truly happy on your own and love yourself as an individual, others are not going to be attracted to you. This may involve taking a break all together from dating sites. Who knows? You may even meet someone the old fashioned way.

Men: How do you get out of a dating rut?

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