What’s your go-to approach when it comes to sending that first online dating message? Are you a shotgun guy? A shy man of few words? Do you wonder if you could be hurting your chances by making a lame first impression? Sadly, you probably are.
What do women want to hear? Every woman is different, so what elicits a response from one might not interest another. The best thing you can do is find an approach that represents your personality. That way, you’ll draw the right woman to you.
Here are a few options that are a lot more promising than the first two approaches I mentioned. Maybe you’ll find one to suit your style.
The Specific Compliment
Rather than opting for the ever popular and unimpressive “You’re so hot/beautiful,” try finding something more specific to compliment. Maybe she has a nice smile or a picture of her doing something cool that you can express an appreciation for?
Try to move away from commenting solely on her physical attributes. Show her that your interests run deeper and that you’ve actually taken the time to read her profile.
The Shared Interest Reveal
If, while so carefully reading her profile, you notice a shared interest or something that the two of you have in common, definitely mention it right off the top. This will provide some natural footing for a conversation.
When a guy sends me a one-word, non-specific message, it’s hard to think of where to take things. Show a little initiative. The effort you put into starting an actual dialogue will not go unnoticed.
The Confident Intellectual Approach
If you consider yourself intelligent and enjoy showing off a little, hit her with something smart. Quote a favorite author or make a nerdy joke that her profile suggests she might get and find humorous.
Even if it doesn’t make her laugh out loud, she’ll get a better sense of who you are. Intelligence is extremely sexy! Use this to your advantage. Just be sure not to come across as arrogant.
One way to flex your intellect while remaining approachable is to tease her a little. You don’t want to go too far with this and end up in Neg territory. Just show her that you’re not intimidated by her and that you have a sense of humor.
Look closely at the pictures she’s posted, or her description of her ideal first date. Is there some humor you can find in those? Just be sure not to insult her looks or interests. This is a delicate thing to pull off and should not be attempted by someone who regularly bombs at playful teasing!
*Note: Any first message, no matter how well crafted will fail to impress if it contains even a trace of desperation or aggression. Be kind and pressure-free in whatever approach you choose and you’ll see your response rate improve.