Why She Won’t Masturbate for You

Watching someone masturbate offers a lot of sexy benefits. You get the chance to see them with their guard down, at the mercy of their own bodies. You may learn what really gets them off, as well as enjoy the opportunity to feel like a voyeur.

For some, it’s the stuff of fantasies. For others it’s the sexual equivalent to dreaming that they’re naked and pissing themselves on the bus to church camp.

If you’ve expressed your desire to watch your partner masturbate and she just won’t go there, don’t harp on it. She probably has her reasons.

4 Reasons She Won’t Masturbate for You

1. You Won’t Reciprocate

Mutual masturbation is about being vulnerable together. It builds intimacy and inspires trust, which—FYI—is not the same thing as asking your partner to touch herself for your entertainment.

Sure, some women find this kind of one-sided exhibitionism hot, but some really don’t. If you want tickets to her one-woman show, be prepared to offer a trade: one five-knuckle chuckle in exchange for her flick of the bean.

2. The Trust Isn’t There

It doesn’t matter if you’ve fucked each other a bunch of times, unless you’ve put some time and effort into creating a safe space—free of judgement ridicule—your partner probably won’t trust you enough to share this very personal aspect of her sexuality.

In case some of you need a reminder, your hook-up partner is not a sex robot or a live-action porn simulator. Give her time. Share things about yourself that show her you’re willing to open up, and encourage her to do the same. If she still doesn’t want to perform for you, so be it.

3. It’s a Private Thing for Her

Even if trust abounds in your relationship, she could still prefer to keep her self-pleasuring private. Some people just aren’t into sharing that part of their lives with others.

For some women the relationship they have with their hand is a sacred one, an extension of their self-care routine, For her, masturbating in front of you could feel just as awkward as shitting with door open. You wouldn’t beg a friend to let you witness their bowel movements, would you? This is no different.

5. She Thinks It’s Wrong

Some women are uncomfortable with the idea of masturbation, period. For whatever reason, they just don’t want to go there. Your partner might fear the hand of God, or feel ill at ease with her own clit. Maybe she believes that masturbation really does lead to blindness, or she just doesn’t get off on it.

No matter what her reason for abstaining from self-pleasure, respect it. Don’t try to guilt her into doing it by making it all about you and your desires, and don’t criticize her for her beliefs. Just let go of the dream and find other ways to enjoy each other’s bodies. And if you must, respectfully move on to someone who loves putting on a show.

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