By now, I’m sure that most of you have had some experience with virtual dating.
You’ve figured out lighting, and where the Wi-Fi signal is strongest in your house. You might even have a favorite Zoom shirt that you wear for special occasions, pants not included, am I right?
Those are technical issues, and they are easy to solve, but what about that terrifying social phenomenon that plagues so many of us? The one that makes our mouths slam awkwardly shut whenever a camera is pointed at us?
Thankfully, there’s a way to avoid this embarrassment—It’s called being prepared.
4 Ways to Get the Conversation Going
1. Set Up a Shared Virtual Dating Experience
Plan your virtual date, just like you would an in-person one. There are plenty of things you can do together over Zoom or Skype. You can screen share and watch a movie, play a trivia game, even take in a lecture, concert, or museum tour.
Get sexy, if you’re both feeling it. Put on a cam show for one another or watch porn and masturbate together. Shared experiences lead to better and more natural conversation. Just be sure you’re both game for whatever activity you choose.
2. Mine Her Dating Profile for Topics
If it’s a first date and talking is more your speed, re-read her online dating profile ahead of time. Take note of details you can use to get the conversation started. Is there anything she’s written that interests you? Things you have in common? Something she seems passionate about that might fill those potentially long and awkward silences?
Think of your own talking points as well. Have a few openers lined up, especially if you know she’s shy and less willing to talk about herself. Being prepared in this way can really help calm those first-date jitters.
Wondering if there’s topics you should avoid? Read Topics of Conversation to Avoid on a First Date.
3. Review Your Message History for Inspiration
Some virtual dates come with long lead-ups and even longer message chains. This is a good thing when it comes to finding common conversational ground. Scroll back to the very beginning of your correspondence, reminding yourself of ground you’ve already covered, and topics not yet explored.
Read carefully, as if you’re taking it all in for the first time. Are there things you didn’t notice when you originally texted? Changes in tone that you might have missed, or subtle clues about what she likes to discuss and what she doesn’t? Apply this knowledge to your virtual date, and things will go much more smoothly.
4. Improvise with Wit and Keen Observation
If all this seems like way too much, just wing it. Do what you do best, and impress her with your impromptu humor and charm. Choose a funny or unusual backdrop to get her laughing, or gently tease her about the one she’s chosen, or the fact that she’s gone totally natural and shown you her room, clothes on the bed and all.
The key to all good conversation is observation. Pay attention to how she responds. Notice her body language, and adjust your tone accordingly. Just be sure you both have unlimited internet, because you’ll probably be chatting it up for hours.
For more virtual dating conversation ideas, read How to Keep the Conversation Going on a Date.