You know what negging is, right? If you’ve never heard of it before, let me enlighten you. Negging is a form of pick-up artistry that encourages men, who are otherwise respectful and intelligent human beings, to act like assholes.
Negging is based on the premise that women like to be mocked and insulted and that doing so will make you stand out from all the other dudes who can only think to tell her that she’s pretty.
As you can see, I’m not a fan of negging. I think it’s insulting to everyone involved. That said, there is one element of the negging philosophy that I think has real value—humor.
Here are some suggestions for how to charm her with your wit. Rather than throw her off balance with insults disguised as jokes. You’ll make a great impression and she’ll have a lot of fun.
Laugh at Yourself
It’s a real turn on when a guy can laugh at himself. It shows that you are confident and secure enough to make jokes in the face of embarrassment. Just keep in mind that there’s a fine line between laughing at yourself and putting yourself down.
The key is to hit on it once with a joke or sarcastic comment, then let it go. Don’t keep dwelling on the incident or bring it back up multiple times in the evening. Use this tactic if you slip up in the conversation or spill a drink on yourself, or whatever, and she’ll probably think you’re cute.
Tease Her a Bit
Try to apply the same humor principles to her as you do to yourself. Acknowledge her awkwardness or silly little first date mishaps with a joke. Teasing her a little bit will lighten the mood and make her feel more relaxed and free to laugh.
Be careful though! You don’t want to cross the line to being cruel or insulting. Don’t joke about anything that she’s expressed an invested interest in, such as her job or family. You don’t want to get too personal and hit the wrong note. The best thing you can do is pay attention and apply your joke making skills to small details that are unfolding in real time.
Find Humor in Your Surroundings
This is essentially a large-scale version of what I just mentioned. Stay alert to what’s happening around you and make jokes on the fly. I wouldn’t suggest you focus so much outside of the conversation that you miss what your date is saying, or that you joke with her constantly like some kind of deranged comedian.
Stay on the lookout for humorous details about the restaurant you’re in or the interesting scene you came across on your way there. If you’re a naturally funny person, this will come easily to you. If you find it stressful or feel that you’re trying way too hard, don’t force it. Be yourself, but don’t be afraid to let loose and get a little silly.
Keep it Tasteful
Obviously, you’ll want to avoid making racist, sexist or homophobic jokes. Keep your humor light and non-judgemental. Don’t think you need to be like one of those stand-up comedians, roasting everyone you see or making yourself laugh at the expense of others.
You want her to see that you’re a fun-loving, quick-witted observer of the human condition, not a sarcastic asshole with a chip on his shoulder. Contrary to popular belief, sarcastic assholes don’t always get the girl. Sometimes all they get is a drink in their face, an uneaten basket of buns, and two half-empty glasses of wine. I’m sure you can find a joke in there somewhere.